Who DOES that???
People who know their washing machine has crabs. 
Why I do believe that would be the only possible excuse…
We don’t know any of this to be true. These kinds of sentiments are platitudes. I’m sympathetic to the OP, but there’s no guarantee the girl will ever regret this, or that he’ll ever find anything better. Life is not like the movies. In real life douchebags are often happy and content to the end of their days, and sometmes good people never get a break.
I hope that’s not the case with the OP, and he likely WILL find somebody better, but I wouldn’t hold my breath that this girl is going to realize what she had and regret walking away, and it’s not something the OP should waste any time hoping for.
I’m sorry it turned out that way, and for the record, her leaving probably doesn’t have a hell of a lot to do with your qualities as a man, or his qualities as a man (his primary attraction is most likely that he’s back home), or even really her character and moral fiber. You guys were behind the 8-ball from the get-go; the age gap at her age and the fact that she hadn’t lived as a self-supporting adult before moving in with you would probably have done you guys in sooner rather than later even if you’d stayed in Illinois.
The way she is leaving, however, has everything to do with her character and moral fiber. It says a lot about the kind of person she is, and not a damn word of what it says is good.
And your comments imply that she has a car, one that will fit most of her shit–WHY does she need to wait two weeks for a friend to come help her pack and go home with her? Help her pack her shit, load it in the car, and give her some gas money, and send her ass the fuck out the door.
Another late joiner to the thread, and Dio is correct that’s there’s no guarantee this girl will regret her immature actions. But the OP, in my opinion anyway, is handling himself in a mature, grounded way.
And in the end, the OP is the only person whose action he can control in this drama - his own self. And by acting in a way in which he can respect himself down the road, whether we think he’s being a doormat or not, he’s laid the groundwork for his future well-being. So neo, Well done. sir, well done.
I agree with this. Doesn’t matter what happens to her. The OP has to control his own destiny from here on out and not worry about where her path leads. And trust me when I say that is easier said than done.
Well… she doesn’t have a valid driver’s license at the moment. That’s why her friend has to fly out to drive her home. And yes, this means I’ve been driving her pretty much everywhere she needed to go since she lost her license last October (she can’t get it back until about $1700 in fines get paid off)…
I’m kind of in a weird place right now as far as my feelings towards her go. I guess now that I’ve divested myself of any hope of winning her back, I have enough distance from the situation to start feeling angry with her. When I really stop and think about it, for almost the entire two years we were together, there was always some damn problem I was helping her through. Most of them were caused by bad decisions she made before I met her.
I think it can safely be said that I put up with a lot more trouble from her than many (or even most) people would have–hell, even her own mother has basically told her not to expect any help from now on. I stuck by her because I firmly believed we would be OK once we got past all that. Now I’m seeing that nothing has really changed for her–she’s still making the same kinds of ill-conceived decisions that got her into trouble in the first place, completely oblivious to the pattern she’s stuck in. And the more anyone tries to point that out to her, the more she tunes them out.
Basically, in the last week I’ve come to realize that my ex-girlfriend is not the woman I thought she was. I loved who I thought she was, but I could never love the selfish, cowardly person I see when I look at her now. As unthinkable as it would have been for me to say a week ago, now I wish she would just go away as soon as possible.
And honestly, it kind of worries me that my feelings could change so fast. Two weeks ago, I had no doubt she was the woman I wanted to share my life with, and now I can’t wait for her to leave. What if I never really loved her? I certainly believed I did, but what if my capacity for love is just… lower than normal? Sorry if that makes no sense–like I said, I’m in a really weird place right now emotionally.
Stranger, you’re absolutely right - I defer to your much saner post. 
My ex-wife said to me both before and after we had our blow up that I used to hold her up on a pedestal; I loved the ideal version of her, rather than the reality. It took me a while to realize she was right about that. It was as though I was in love with her potential. Somehow, I don’t think you and I are the first people to run into that issue.
Reality hits hard once you’re seeing clearly. My feelings changed VERY quickly once I understood who I was actually dealing with. The more distance you get from the situation, the more you’ll be able to properly reflect, and the more you’ll be able to see where the things you had control over went wrong (sounds like you’ve begun that process already). This is not to say by any stretch that you are fully responsible – she fooled you in the same way she continues to fool herself. But you will gain lessons from it and be better able to avoid it happening in the future. Don’t give up on yourself.
This is the way it goes, though. This is how we learn to develop healthy relationships. Next time you run into someone similar, your experience here will cause red flags to go up. Something will feel oddly not right and familiar…
And then you’ll blow that off and get into a relationship with this new gal, anyway, but your turn-around time will be better and you’ll get rid of and over the next gal faster.
It’s the gal after THAT that will be the one for you! 
(Not that I know from experience.)
The person that you loved is not the same person as you were actually with. I think this is why, when you realize it, that your emotions can flip so fast.
Only your hatred can defeat her.
Let me guess, OWI? Sounds like you dodged a bullet, man. Have a nice cold bottle of sparkling wine to pop as she leaves. I’d invite some friends over, too, and make sure they arrive a couple hours before she takes off so you guys can start the party as she’s moving out.
I’d also spend the next week asking her why if the new guy is so great he hasn’t sent her some cash to pay for a hotel, her own food, etc. Make a big deal about her leaching off you for these last couple weeks and how pathetic it is.
Um, warty-dude? This woman lives in his house while he’s at work. The smart thing to do is stay on reasonable terms with her until she is out the door and gone. If she has made as many poor choices as he says, she wouldn’t be above one more, which could be stealing some of his stuff and selling it, or using a found credit card to charge up a bunch of stuff, etc.
Come to think of it, she could do that even if he doesn’t remain cordial, so please lock up your shit, Neo.
Join AClockworkMelon, and together you can rule the galaxy!
You did love her, she just isn’t right for you, and now you’re able to see that.
I think a lot of people don’t realize that you can love a lot of people in your life, truly, madly, deeply, and that doesn’t make any of them good for you. Love is only a starting point, and it takes more than that emotion to have a healthy relationship.
Some of it is also the wild emotional swing you get with a rejection. It’ll calm down.
Um wacky-guy, I’m not saying he should piss her off and locking his shit up should have been step 1 after he found out she was cheating/leaving. I don’t see a problem with making her feel a little guilty/stuipid about her decision.
Alternately, it could just confirm for her that she’s absolutely making the right decision to get away from the dick while the getting is good. Not that I think the OP is a dick, but acting like one to her, even if he’s justified, will probably just make her feel self-righteous in her poor choices.
This right there is why she will never forget you. Infact I can pretty much guarantee you once she’s done getting her ya-ya’s out of her system when she’s ready to settle down. Your going to come out on the top of the list and she will try to get in touch with you in the future.
I agree with the reasons why you don’t feel its right to kick her out on the street. You may hate her at some point until the 25th, but I’m sure you’d want to see no harm come to her if she had to go to a shelter and something happened. As you can see in this thread majority of people would of booted her out tout suite. That’s why your going to be the exception in her life that will make you stand out .
I was in a similiar situation as yours. She was 22 I was 25 we had dated for two years I loved this women. I was her first love but she ended up cheating on me and it broke my heart. I was angry and hurt but once we were able to talk about it she explained to although she agreed it was poor judgement on her part not to instead just break up with me instead of cheating on me. Its because she was young and wanted to date other men and wasn’t mature enough to handle it. Long story I told her I understood, treated her with respect was always civil with her but a little reserved if I saw her.
Out of the blue she contacted a couple of years later asking me if I was single and wanted to go out for lunch. She told me she had dated a few men and always had the habit of comparing me to the men she was dating and she said none of them were as nice to her as I was. She was ready to settly down, we went out on a few dates. Then I had to tell her sorry I feel nothing for her now.I tried but the damage was done i thought to myself. I can forgive but I can’t forget. Once someone cheats on me that’s it, its over doesn’t matter what the situation is.
So hang in there man your taking the highroad and your doing the right thing.