Girls and their bikinis

[Rhum_Runner]

*Originally posted by Zebra *
That is where you made the depression call in case you don’t remember.

You said I had “diagnosed him as depressed.” I mentioned depression because in my own life I have known people who were suffering from depression and engaged in behavior similar to that of the OP. You mischarecterized my statement.

OH and at this point, where you note that something weird is going on the thread, the thread is 12 posts old and you had made 3 of those.

And your point is?

You haven’t said you think he is dangerous but

He gives you the willys.

His op creeps you out.

His defense from your suggestions creeps you out (2 more times)

You think there is more going on in Phase42’s head then Phase42 himself realizes.

He makes the hairs stand up on the back of your neck.
Gee, all of these things and you claim you don’t think that Phase42 is a danger. Why do the hairs stand up on the back of your neck?

No, I don’t think he is a danger. People that drive spikes through their tounges or hang themselves from hooks in their skin give me the willys too. Doesn’t mean I think they are a danger to others. Anti-social or otherwise unhealthy behavior does not equate to automatic danger to others, so please stop trying to say that I have said something which I haven’t said.

It not because you are angry it is a fear response. You basically said that Phase42 makes you afraid of something. If not him then what are you afraid of?

I did not basically say anything of the kind, and I now question your ability to read. I said his behavior made me uncomfortable, and that I believed it was, for lack of a better term, creepy. I am not afraid, nor am I angry. There are other responses available to the situaation than the two you present.

Phase42 did say in the OP that this particular trip to the beach/swiming hole he went to ‘look at girls’. He did say that this was his local swimming place and that over the course of six years he only recalls on thong. This lets us know that he is not talking about say Miami or the French Riveria where very skimpy bikinis and thongs are common.

True. It also tells us that he has an uncanny ability to remember the details of his casual observations made over more than half a decade of girl watching.

He never that the only reason he ever went there was to look at girls. I’m willing to bet that he sometimes actually went swimming. You jumped to the conclusion that he ONLY goes there to watch girls and that this is ‘voyeuristic behaviour’.

I refer you to the OP:

Yesterday I went to the local swimming hole, mainly to observe social interactions. Okay, I was there to look at girls

Sounds like he went to look at girls. Now the OP mentions that this swiming hole is on a bike loop. In his OP, and follow up posts, he never mentions the bike. He specifically said he went there to watch girls in swim suits, and said “these observations of mine have been made over the course of six consecutive summers going to this particular swim area.” I don’t think I had to jump very far to reach the conclusion that he repeatedly has gone to this location over the course of six years for the express and primary purpose of watching women.

As to the voyeuristic behavior, that comment was made in response to this post from the OP:

[/quote]
I don’t try to photograph or videotape them. I don’t lay there on the beach fantasizing about them. I don’t run to the men’s room to jerk off when I see them.
[/quote]

In the absence of an accusation, an exculpatory statement can be a signal of consciosness of guilt. No one at that point had made any accusations of sexual conduct, and yet the OP feels he should mention that he isn’t jerking off in the bathroom? Strikes me as odd.

[Giraffe]

I found the OP to be pretty darn creepy. I can’t say that Phase42 is himself creepy based just on that, but both specific phrases and the overall tone of the OP certainly set off my Creepy Meter.

[handy]

Surfer boy handy notices that women of any age wear basically the same design in bathing suits. However, adult women are the only ones wearing thong suits, whew.

[ratatoskK]

Another vote for creepy. Not because of going to the beach and looking around, but because of the way he writes about it.

[Shaolinrabbit]

Wow, you’re on your own Phase. At this point I’m just going to be happy no one think’s I’m creepy.

[Mister_Rik]

Wow, you’re on your own Phase.

That’s okay - I’m pretty much done with this thread myself. I got a couple good answers to my question, so there’s not much more need to keep coming back here just to defend myself.

One thing, though…

he has an uncanny ability to remember the details of his casual observations made over more than half a decade of girl watching.

I also have an uncanny ability to remember trivia that I read when I was 12 years old. And to remember the lyrics of funny songs I only heard once many years ago. And to remember jokes that I hear once. Simply means that I have an uncanny memory for details.

[Evil_Captor]

Having read the OP my mind is made up. Phase42 is a “guy” who likes to look at “girls” because they’re “sexy.” I accuse Phase42 of being a Heterosexual and not only that, but the absolute WORST kind of Heterosexual, a male Heterosexual! The kind who likes the look of scantily dressed women!

Oh, man, so creepy. SO not gender-neutral. It’s just a reminder that these Heterosexual guys don’t have the ability to differentiate between 16 year olds and 14 year olds at a glance.

Let the lynching begin!

[Zebra]

*Originally posted by Rhum Runner *
**You said I had “diagnosed him as depressed.” I mentioned depression because in my own life I have known people who were suffering from depression and engaged in behavior similar to that of the OP. You mischarecterized my statement.
**

Again from Merriam-Webster Online
Diagnose
1 a : to recognize (as a disease) by signs and symptoms
So again you said

Sounds like some depression maybe?

So you did attempt to diagnose him as suffering from depression. Do not deny it.

(I hate the way quotes do not show up in quotes)

And your point is?

My point is that the weird thing going on in the thread is you.

<snip>
Anti-social or otherwise unhealthy behavior does not equate to automatic danger to others, so please stop trying to say that I have said something which I haven’t said.
**

So are you now saying that his behavior is anti-social?

In case you don’t get it, the "it makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck’ is the part where I believe that in a backhanded way you are saying he is a danger. That response, hair standing on end, is something that happens when people are afraid. You said you expierenced that response, which implies that you felt fear. Now do you get it or are you going to skip over this part when you respond.

True. It also tells us that he has an uncanny ability to remember the details of his casual observations made over more than half a decade of girl watching.

And as he pointed out this sort of memory indicates that he has a good memory. I certainly remember over the last six years. Don’t you?

I refer you to the OP:

Sounds like he went to look at girls. Now the OP mentions that this swiming hole is on a bike loop. In his OP, and follow up posts, he never mentions the bike. He specifically said he went there to watch girls in swim suits, and said “these observations of mine have been made over the course of six consecutive summers going to this particular swim area.” I don’t think I had to jump very far to reach the conclusion that he repeatedly has gone to this location over the course of six years for the express and primary purpose of watching women.

Well maybe your question of ‘What the hell are you up to man?’ and ‘Your post is creeping me out’ made him feel explainations were in order.

You like to dance around it but I’ll lay it flat out for you. You Rhum Runner and the others who dropped by to say they felt ‘creeped out’ by the OP are IMHO a bunch puritans trying to force the idea that men are evil sex fiends. Oh you won’t come right out and say it but “you are creeping me out” "there is stuff on going on in your head that you don’t realize’ and ‘vouyeristic behavior’ and then I love how you switch to sound like a lawyer with ‘In the absence of an accusation, an exculpatory statement can be a signal of consciosness of guilt.’

[QUOTE]

As to the voyeuristic behavior, that comment was made in response to this post from the OP:

[QUOTE]
*

(from Phase 42) I don’t try to photograph or videotape them. I don’t lay there on the beach fantasizing about them. I don’t run to the men’s room to jerk off when I see them./quote

In the absence of an accusation, an exculpatory statement can be a signal of consciosness of guilt. No one at that point had made any accusations of sexual conduct, and yet the OP feels he should mention that he isn’t jerking off in the bathroom? Strikes me as odd. **

Yes but apparently a lot of normal behavior strikes you as odd so I not going to worry too much about it.

[Zebra]

Oh and Copaesthetic, I think I’m one who is alone in this thread.

[Shaolinrabbit]

I think you’re doing just fine Zebra. I expressed my views on the creepiness subject above, and oddly, Evil Captor and I are both spot on with reality as I see it. I don’t think Phase is creepy, and if I thought that the creepiness accusations were overwhelming, I’d jump in with more, but I figured I’d said enough above. Given the ratio of views to replies this thread has, we can safely assume that this is a non-issue for most involved. Even Phase doesn’t seem to care much.

In essence, I think you and Rhum Runner are practically going one on one here. And, as I said, you’re doing great

[Rhum_Runner]

ZebraYou really can’t read the words in front of you, can you?

So you did attempt to diagnose him as suffering from depression. Do not deny it.

<big sigh> Look, I said his that his behavior, and his posts, might suggest some depression. Might. You will note the use of the question mark in my original comment. You then stated that I had “diagnosed” our OP as being depressed. I did not do so. I made no statement as to whether or not the OP suffers from depression. How you can read my post otherwise is beyond me. If someone asks, “Did the Cubs win?” They have not declared that the Cubs did, in fact win. Similarly, my suggestion that the OP might be suffering from depression was not a declaration that he does, in fact, suffer from depression, nor was it, as you now wish to charecterize it in direct contradiction of your earlier statement, an attempt at dignosis. It was, and remains, merely a suggested possibility - nothing more. I’m not going to debate this point with you any further, the words simply speak for themselves.

In case you don’t get it, the "it makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck’ is the part where I believe that in a backhanded way you are saying he is a danger. That response, hair standing on end, is something that happens when people are afraid. You said you expierenced that response, which implies that you felt fear. Now do you get it or are you going to skip over this part when you respond.

I said, amoung other things, that the OP made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. That is all I said. What you think it implies, is really not material. Personally I don’t think that the phrase “make the hair stand up on the back of my neck” conotes fear, rather it is a feeling that something is out of the ordinary. Further, I don’t believe I have skipped anything substantive which you have written, including this, though it hardly seems to count. If you believe I have failed to adequetely respond to a point you have raised, please feel free to ask me for a clarification.

And as he pointed out this sort of memory indicates that he has a good memory. I certainly remember over the last six years. Don’t you?

Well, yes and no. I remember when the American hockey team beat the USSR in the Olympics, and that was 23/- years ago. I don’t remember what shirt I wore last Tuesday. That was only ten days ago. I certainly don’t remember how many thong bathing suits I have seen at the pool over the last six years, though I am sure there may have been some. I quite certainly don’t have an exact count in my head.

Well maybe your question of ‘What the hell are you up to man?’ and ‘Your post is creeping me out’ made him feel explainations were in order.

Maybe. Interesting that his first response wasn’t his most recent (and far more reasonable) one, i.e. that this swiming hole is a convinient stopping point on a bike route. No, the initial elaboration was a denial of jerking off in the bathroom.

You like to dance around it but I’ll lay it flat out for you. You Rhum Runner and the others who dropped by to say they felt ‘creeped out’ by the OP are IMHO a bunch puritans trying to force the idea that men are evil sex fiends. Oh you won’t come right out and say it but “you are creeping me out” "there is stuff on going on in your head that you don’t realize’ and ‘vouyeristic behavior’ and then I love how you switch to sound like a lawyer with ‘In the absence of an accusation, an exculpatory statement can be a signal of consciosness of guilt.’

Yep, boy you have hit it right on the head again. You’re on to me. I thought I could hide it, but you found me out Zebra: I’m a Puritan all right. All men are crazed sex fiends, like bucks in the rut 12 months out of the year. LOL. I’ll put this right up there with: “Saying, that girl is beautiful is not a crime. Though I think you would like it to be.” It gets the same response: :rolleyes:
Oh, and in the future I’ll be sure to use little words so you can follow along, lest I be accused of sounding like a lawyer, whatever that is supposed to mean.

[Freudian_Slit]

Look, I can tell this thing is turning into a trainwreck. And I have no idea whether or not Phase42 is or is not depressed. But well, as a teenaged female (well, nearly on my way out as far as the teenaged part is concerned), your OP struck me as being a little creepy. It’s fun to look and all, I’m sure, but if you’re on the receiving part of the gaze, it comes off less as appreciative and more like, “Oh God, a disgusting old dude.” Not that you’re old or disgusting; it’s just that often that’s the first thought in one’s head when you’re being looked at.

It’s not so much that you’re a bad guy. It’s just that this kind of attention can kind of make one’s skin crawl. Not necessarily that you were showing anyone unwanted attention, but more that you were talking about it in that manner. As though teenaged girls exist for you as eye candy. The idea of a fifty year old very wrinkled, pre-Botox woman talking about the sexy sixteen year old male ass out on the beach wouldn’t have been fun for you as an adolescent, would it?

Again, not saying you’re a bad person. If this post comes off rudely, you can tell yourself I’m having majorly bad PMS. (Which I’m not, but if it makes you feel any better…) I’m sure a lot of people do like being checked out, but if you happen to be merely interested in swimming or getting a tan, it can make you feel really self-conscious to realize that people are getting other ideas at the same time. I’m not completely naive, no…but it isn’t always fun to be the cute little object, and to know just what goes on in people’s heads. Not saying you shouldn’t have posted this, or that noticing good looking girls makes you evil™, but I am letting you know why people might have gone off the way they did.

[bri1600bv]

A middle aged guy going to the beach and taking detailed mental notes about teenage (including some 13-14 year old “beauties”), what they look like, how their suits “fit” and whatnot.

No that’s not creepy at all.

Why are the girls shy? Umm…perhaps because they know they’re kind of on “display” and who knows, some middle aged creepy guy might be ogling them. That would do it for me.

I’m a male, and yes I do notice females, do look (a little) at the beach, but I try not to gawk, as I know I would not want to be gawked at (it’s not polite). I try to keep my sexual interest in general to women of my own approximate age group which is older than 13-14.

Excessive interest in pubescent girls is kind of contrary to societal expectations and IMO reflects a kind of scary immaturity and lack of socialization, as in doesn’t fit properly into society. Why isn’t the OP interested in females his own age?

How would you feel if you had children and you knew some middle aged freak was analyzing your girls on the beach? Yikes. Arrestable? No. Scary? Yes.

[Nightime]

There is nothing inherently wrong with anything Phase said or did.

The sad fact is that there are bad people out there who might do what Phase did, so even though he was completely innocent his actions are associated with the bad people in your mind, and thus they seem creepy.

[Evil_Captor]

To all teen gals

Just thought I’d relieve your minds. Just because an older guy looks at you and thinks you’re hot and sexy, it DOESN’T mean he wants to date you or anything. It’s perfectly possible to look at a sexy teen and think, “What a great ass on that gal” and have that be the end of it.

Most of the time, when an older guy looks at you, that’s about all that’s going on, if you are pretty and in a bikini on the beach. I might also add that older guys tend to have broader standards of prettiness so a lot of teen gals that might think they’re not so pretty might have older guys thinking, “What a sweet little bod.”

Now, staring so openly that the person being observed can’t help but feel stared at is in fact rude at any age and no matter what your thought are, but there’s no indication that Phase42 did that.