Ack! ‘you’re interested’. Who jinxed my keyboard?
Gee, aren’t you nice.
On behalf of me, and all my single, attractive, over 23, childless friends, who are NOT coo-coo, and have careers, why don’t you go fuck yourself, you colossal ASS.
ahem.
Al - single, childless, and certainly not coo-coo, although prone to fits of temper…
Hang in there guy - there are, infact, lots of nice single girls out there - just don’t call them bitches, and you’ll do just fine.
Al.
Which has to do with the price of tea in China, how?
Do I really have to explain?
Alright, I admit I’m coming off as an ass here and feel some desire to explain (one wonders why). I’ll attempt to keep it brief and swear and swear I am not making this up or embellishing.
(leaving out HS/early college. They were pretty normal)
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Last two years of college dated woman and became engaged. After graduated moved in together in new town (rural WY) where I became a teacher. 6 months before wedding she dissappeared and found out she was committed. Turned out committed twice before. She really seemed normal but no family should have been a clue.
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First attempt after last was someone who felt that if I touched her without explicit permission then it was rape. She accused me of rape when I kissed her cheek when on a carnival ride. End of that, though I had to be the one end it for some reason.
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Met Opal and was dumped.
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Met nice lady, and was nice. Turned out she had 5 kids (by 24!) All with same man who died. She really was nice but didn’t want 5 instant children.
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Met another woman with incurable and deadly veneral disease. Liked her but limited potential love interest wise. Still friends btw.
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Was asked out by very attractive woman who just moved in from out of state. Went out 2 times but could tell something wrong. At end of second date, she came clean and notified me that she was gay and was using me as ‘cover’. (rural WY remember?). She was afraid of violence from community and wanted to keep me as a pretend bf. Told her no, told her names of 3 openly gay people in community and she didn’t have any worries. Sent her on her way.
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Met woman who hated kids, cats and the color green with a passion. Very negative but fun (I know, weird). Had off/on relationship for quite awhile.
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Dated another woman with 2 kids. She was nice but the kids were holy terrors. Poor woman. The kids were so bad I just didn’t want to take on that burden.
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Set up on blind date. Most overweight person I’ve seen. I’m not talking a little overweight but she probably topped 400 lbs. (no embellishing). I remember shaking her hand and it collapsed to half its width during the shake. (shiver). Almost lost a friend on that one - couldn’t believe he set me up. He confessed had never seen her and was Wife’s friends friend.
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Met nice woman, and went out twice. during second date, she confessed that she was being chased by something (boogeymen?). She didn’t know what to do but when I was around they stayed away. At first I took it as some weird ‘let’s spend the night together’ line but no, she was serious. I called her family to let them know and they didn’t want to hear it and gave me number to her shrink.
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Met another woman who turned out to be pregnant (not by me!). She was scared and needed a father and supporter. Try the father?
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Asked woman out and accepted. Thursday night received phone call and she was really mad. I stood her up. No, I am sure it is tomorrow. She consults her calender and sees I am right. I then assure her I won’t stand her up. She thinks a bit then calls it off saying ‘I can’t take this again’.
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Swung by to pick up my date. She insults car, insults me, then insults car before 5 minutes have gone by. Drive her back home. Shortest date - about 10 minutes.
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Another woman with 2 kids. Turned out she was a ‘born again virgin’. No sex till marriage and felt strongly needed to live together for at least a year. That’s cool, but she needed to find someone who wants kids and no sex.
This may sound like alot but it was over 5 years. All were in rural WY. When I moved to Minneapolis had several dates in a month, then met my wife. All were reasonable normal. Whoever said move to a big city was right. Stay out of rural areas, at least WY.
Sorry to bore you all. Blink
Hell - literally. Then you’ll have something in common with the girl that you can chat about, yes?
Call me someone with more conservative values (ha ha), but I disagree with people about the “who cares if she has a boyfriend, go after her” line.
Maybe they are dating losers who aren’t good for them, but… doesn’t it show a fundemental disrespect for relationships to ask them out anyway?
Also, Giraffe said:
This may be true for many girls, but not all. Trust me. For me, there is nothing more uncomfortable than when a guy friend of mine asks me out and I can’t say yes (I’m terribly picky :))
And WL, I know it seems hard but you’ll find someone. This is just my optimism and personal experience thinking, but you will.
Well yeah, that’s why I asked. :rolleyes:
Are you implying that this girl’s behavior is the result of her mother’s divorce? Give me a break.
Since jaimest had made a “Mrs Robinson” reference in his original post, I assumed that he meant that in the absence of a successful relationship with the daughter, he had a crack at the mother.
But I could be wrong.
pan
I was wondering if that is what he meant or if he was implying something more.
:waves: Hi Diane!!
White Lightening, m’boy, get out your pennies, you’re in luck. Twisty’s travelling pickle barrel of female rejection just rolled into town.
A few things I’ve learned along the way.
My apologies for the generalisation, but teenage girls are sheep. They will go for the guy that makes them look good in front of their friends. You and me are probably cut from the same nerd cloth. You don’t need to be sharp, or be able to tell jokes to be funny. I know its Cliche, but “be yourself” is the best advice anyone could give you. If that fails, be a badass ninja rock star. 
The second girl you mentioned obviously seen something that she liked in you. Why else would it have happened? You are able to impress females obviously. Knowing you have done it before should give you the confidence to do it again.
To echo others, you will fail more often than succeed. It sucks, wear a helmet. nothing you can do, so accept the fact and keep going.
Another small thing I’ve learned. Being yourself works best with women, being someone else works with girls. The difference between the two has nothing to do with age.
The last thing I’ve learned? When you stop struggling, you will triumph. Relax, take it easy, and don’t try too hard to impress females, and you will find that attracts them even more.
My advice may not be worth much WL, but I’ve had my heart ripped out and shoved up my ass often enough to know where you’re at.
Hang in there. And if all else fails, write a self help book.
jaimest, I don’t understand your whole story. I’m not sure I want to.
[Mr Burns voice]
Yes, we all know what you think, Smithers.
[/Mr Burns voice]
Your support has been great. “Wear a helmet”-- great advice.
Manda JO: I don’t think that’s the problem here. Since my revelation that if I want to date people, I’ve gotta go out and get 'em, I’ve basically just tried to flirt with and/or ask out anyone that seems like they’d be fun to date. I doubt it’s the “nice” thing because in some cases I’d say it’s possible I was the only one showing interest. You’re so right though, in High School many times I was the recipient of crushes from unpopular girls because I didn’t treat everyone that was “below” me in the social strata like scum, and it got taken for interest, or at least latched on to as something nice, if that makes sense. While my lament “MAY indicate a tendency to exclusivly pursue the type of women that everyone wants,” I think that’s more because I try to maintain fairly high standards as far as looks, personality etc., at least with the people I’m just randomly deciding to become interested in. So it’s pretty likely that the extremely attractive girl that I just started working with is in a relationship because, well, many extremely attractive females are in relationships. Of course, I could always be just fooling myself, but then all of this is moot anyway and I’m just a clown. Let’s hope that’s not the case.
I agree with LaurAnge. Once I find that the person I’m interested already has a boyfriend, I feel it’s my moral duty to back off. I mean, it’s all well and good to say things like ‘you’ve gotta go out and get her,’ but if I had a girlfriend I wouldn’t want other guys out there with that attitude about her. If a girl with a boyfriend shows definite interest in me, that’s a little more complicated, but I would hesitate to actively pursue someone I knew to be “taken.”
featherlou, good call. I like that sample conversation, it fits with the whole ‘be direct’ philosophy pretty well. “If you’re interested anyway, what harm comes from her knowing it” seems to be one of the hardest things to get used to. You’re so right, but I can remember all through HS my instinctual reaction to every crush I had seemed to be to avoid talking to them as much as possible and keep my attraction a big secret. Needless to say, not an effective strategy… luckily, I’ve grown up a little bit since then.
BlinkingDuck, you’ve certainly got me beat. You’ve met some pretty kooky people. Glad it worked out for you in the end. That’s a good lesson though, just to stick to it. That’s what I plan to do. I’m ONLY 20, I’m a GREAT guy (hehehe) with decent looks, intelligence, and a totally suavee personality. What girl wouldn’t want to go out with me, right? Especially after I pull Scylla’s “bandito of love” stunt. Just as long as I keep an upbeat attitude I’m reasonably confident that I’ll do just fine.
I also want to say thanks to everyone who replied to the OP with encouragement or advice. I appreciate it a lot. I’ll keep you guys updated on my search, hehe.
Having met Twisty (hiya Twisty - Did you get my Strip-o-Gram? :D), I would suggest that you really take his advice to heart. He is genuine and kind and unless he is a really great actor, doesn’t put on airs to impress anyone. He’s just a real person which makes him absolutely adorable (he’s cute too)! If I were only 20 years younger. . . .
So yeah, just be yourself.
I’m not sure I bi into that idea. Ahem. Sorry for that.
White Lightning: I’ve been saying the same thing with great resentment. In fact, I wrote a song about it:
All the best girls have boyfriends,
All the girls I’d like to fuck.
All the best girs have boyfriends,
So it looks like I’m shit out of luck.
Anyway, hang in there. You’re in good company.
Okay, DON’T DO that bandito of love thing. EVER. Please.
That is bad advice. It would not work. Most of the women I know (myself included) would say, ‘Drop dead, you blowhole. Thanks for providing me with the most embarrassing moment of my life.’
WL, you just haven’t run into the right girl with a boyfriend. A lot of girls won’t dump their current guy until there is a new prospect in the picture.
Do be more confident, but don’t be a jerk.
And do work out. Hey, when the time comes that you find a woman who does want to rip your clothes off, you’ll be all set.
BlinkingDuck, thank you for that list. I thought I had some strange dates when I was single, but whooo that is some bad luck. Made my night.
White Lightning, keep trying. Got a great site for you to look at http://formen.ign.com/dating.html. They have all kinds of advice on dating tips and how to approach a girl without them pulling the mace out of her purse. Good luck.
Ok, before I begin my rant… One question for Mr. WL… is this really your homepage----> http://www.geocities.com/inthetank2001/index.html
Look at the pictures he has on there (especially the names, dumb fuck didn’t even change the names!). He even tries to say they are actually him! Maybe I’m missing the joke and it isn’t really meant to be taken seriously. If it is, I see the problem, he’s a fruad and chicks see right through him.
If it isn’t, I don’t get the joke.