Good Jokes!

If Klingons Developed Software

10: This code is a piece of crap! You have no honor!
9: A TRUE Klingon warrior does not comment his code!
8: By filing this bug report you have questioned my family honor! Prepare to die!
7: You question the worthiness of my Code?! I should kill you where you stand!
6: Our competitors are without honor!
5: Specs are for the weak and timid!
4: This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!
3: Perhaps it IS a good day to Die! I say we ship it!
2: My program has just dumped Stova Core!
1: Behold, the keyboard of Kalis! The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever lived!

So why’d the third monkey fall out of the tree?

Peer pressure!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Three blondes buy a Pepsi one because it only has 1 calorie…

The 1st one opens it, the second pours it evenly into 3 glasses, and the 3rd one asks, “Well who has the 1 calorie?”

This is the actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. Radio conversation released by the chief of naval operations, 10-10-95.

CANADIANS: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

AMERICANS: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.

CANADIANS: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

AMERICANS: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

CANADIANS: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

AMERICANS: This is the Aircraft Carrier US LINCOLN, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees north. I say again, that’s one-five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

CANADIANS: This is a lighthouse. Your call.