The bad news is they’ve already been maxed out by her.
The good news is you’re rich uncle just died leaving you a fortune.
Your not ‘you’re’: smack:
Ain’t I just on a roll :smack:
The bad news is the fortune is an old copy of “Fortune” magazine.
The good news is, it’s the one with the Bill Gates centerfold.
The bad news is, the pages of that centerfold are stuck together.
The good news is, you’ve still got half a bottle of Night Train left.
the bad news is that it’s the top half of the bottle.
The good news is your on a train to the Alps.
The bad news: The only reason its not 2/3 empty is due to all the vomit-laced backwash.
The good news: This makes you swear off alcohol for the rest of your life!
The bad news is that drinking large amounts of alcohol is the only way you can force yourself to go to bed with your wife.
The good news is you’ve got a job interview
The bad news is it’s for Anna Nicole Smith’s new assistant.
The good news is it pays $2500/week.
The bad news is that no matter how well you do the job, they’re never going to make you Anna Nicole Smith.
The good news is, the Matrix has you.
The bad news is, they force you to do crummy Power Aid commercials.
The good news is, Carrie Anne Moss is also there.
The bad new is, the Matrix is a new song by Boyz 2 Men.
The good news is you’re tone deaf.
The bad news is that you are the lead singer.
The good news is that your tone deafness has been determined to be caused by the natural phenomenon that afflicts most men…selective hearing. Leaving you with no blame…it’s not your fault…it’s soley due to your alarming levels of testosterone…
the bad news is…you’re actually a woman.
The good news is you look great.
welcome here sweet contradiction.
The good news is that you’re Harry Potter.
The bad new is you just tried to conjure up a “chocolate cake”.
The good news is that he’s only Harry-Potter-sized once you’ve conjured him.
The bad news is, he’s hungry.
The REALLY bad news is, he’s hungry for human flesh.
The good news is, you don’t have any flesh…
the bad news is your flesh is gone because Chocolate Cake already ate it.
[Is it wrong to be a little proud that my chocolate cake suggestion has hung around this long? Granted many others have helped warp its meaning, but still, I’m really touched]
The good news is, now that his belly is full, he’s sleepy
The bad news is he decides to take a nap on top of your skinless yet still living body.
The good news is you still have your wand.
The bad news is, it’s all sticky now.
The good news is you can use it to pick up loose cat hair.