The bad news is you now have a hairy stick.
The good news is you can use it to banish Jehova’s Whitnesses from your front door.
The bad news is the Jehovah’s Witnesses are still at your door. 
The good news is the car is parked out back.
The bad news is it’s now the property of the JH’s.
The good news is they’ll never take you alive.
The bad news is its out of gas
The good news is your neighbor has some gas in a gas can
the bad news is they will take you dead
The good news is you are reincarnated as a billionaire
The bad news is you’re Bill Gates and have that dorky haircut.
The good news is you found a cure for baldness.
The bad news is that it involves a transplant of pubic hair stuck on the top of your head.
The good news is that everyone at the office digs your new afro.
The bad news is strangers keep asking for your autograph, thinking you’re a cast member from Welcome Back Kotter.
The good news is it’s improved your love life.
The good news is, you have a date with Harry Potter.
The bad news is, it turns you just have a date with a hairy potter.
The bad news is, it’s going aways from here to here.
The good news is, it’s no longer bright red and painful…
The bad news is its still lumpy and swollen
The good news is, you were going to have your arm amputated anyway!
[SIZE=1]I wasn’t sure which one to run with!
The bad news is, I couldn’t get the coding right
The good news is, I’m new here, so you can’t fire me!
{welcome froggg – we may not be able to fire you, but we can mock you unmercifully. Neener neener neener. /hazing}
The good news is you’ve got a great gig imitating the Venus de Milo.
The bad news is they want to amputate the other arm to increase the resemblance.
The good news is you know how to secretely re-grow body parts.
The bad news is John Wayne Bobbit wants to steal it.
The good news is he will give you royalties on all the new porn he makes
The Bad news is you have a starring role with Chocolate cake
BAD -> GOOD
not
GOOD -> BAD
As in
The bad news is fafafafafa.
The good news is fafafafafafa.
Makes things more imaginative.
So continuing from the last good one (frogg)
The bad news is we can, out of a cannon
The good news is there’s a soft landing ahead
The Bad news is that the soft landing is on Delta Burke’s breasts.
The Good news is that she’s eating chocolate cake.
The bad news is the sight traumatizes you into complete incoherence.
The good news is there’s plenty of Chocolate Cake for two.
[size=1]Yikes!!![/size=1]
THE BAD NEWS IS YOUR JAW HAS BEEN WIRED SHUT
THE GOOD NEWS IS YOU CAN STILL DRINK MARTINIS WITH A STRAW
The bad news is martini is code name for chocolate cakes special frosting
The good news is you are on a frosting free diet