The bad news is, he’s under the impression that killing you would impress her.
The good news is, he’s right…
Yikes! um…
The bad news is his aim has improved during his incarceration.
The good news is his new weapon of choice is a super soaker.
The bad news is, It ain’t filled with water.
The good news is, You’re partial to onion soup.
The bad news is, he loads his super soaker with acid.
The good news is, Chocolate Cake has volunteered to be your bodyguard.
The bad news is, I got Chocolate Cake splatters all over me.
The good news is, Chocolate Cake is forever gone in this thread.
The bad news is, hmm, there is no bad news now that Chocolate Cake is gone from this thread forever (again)!
The good news is, new we can include his brother in this thread, Devil’s Food Cake!
The bad news is, He’s gone to hell
The good news is, You made me laugh.
The bad news is, you were drinking lemonade and it went up your nose.
The good news is, Devil’s Food Cake doesn’t know you’re laughing at him.
The bad news is, you laughed your head off.
The good news is, Devil’s Food Cake gave your head back to you 'cuz he’s so nice.
The bad news is, My head is the wrong way around.
The good news is, I can see pickpockets coming from afar.
The bad news is, all my shirts look weird.
The good news is, I can look at my butt.
The bad news is, no one else wants to.
The good news is, milk now comes in 2 gallon cartons…
The bad news is, you’re lactose intolerant so you don’t buy milk.
The good news is, the folks who want you for one of those “got milk?” ads don’t know that.
The bad news is, you’re so poor, you got no milk.
The good news is, the royalty check should be coming in any day now.
The bad news is, it’s made out in Iraqi currency.
The good news is, pictures of Saddam Hussein on currency have become collectible items.
The bad news is that the picture of saddam has been disfigured from many shoe beatings.
The good news is that the note now smells of leather, and you like the smell of leather. Yeah.
The bad news is, your leather-smelling fetish has left you without any money on account of your buying so many cows to smell.
The good news is, you got plenty of milk now.
The bad news is, it isn’t cow milk.
The good news is, squirrel milk is good for you…
The bad news is you were photographed milking with your mouth, straight from the teat.
The good news is, they caught your good side and you look sexy as hell, albeit sexy as hell whilst sucking off a squirrel.
The bad news is, suckingoffasquirrel.com has sued you for copyright infringement.
The good news is, they want to sign you to a performance contract.