The bad news is, I didn’t understand your last post…
The good news is, I can smile and fake it 
The bad news is, just like your mama warned you it would happen, your face is now stuck that way.
The good news is, you are now an excellent candidate to work as a flight attendant.
The bad news is the only airline hiring is Al Queda Airways.
The good news is, you have your old job to fall back on…
The bad news is, it’s not likely that Panama will make you its’ Presidente ever again, after you looted the treasury.
The good news is, Liberia might…
The bad news is, you have been banned from the continent of Africa ever since you split South America from Africa in the days of the Pangea continent.
The good news is, you you’re very popular in South America (though not in Central America. See above).
The bad news is, you you’re very popular in South America for running a drug cartel.
The good news a stranger is offering you a ton of “pirates gold” to buy you out.
The bad news is, the people of South America are under the impression that you are Chairman Kaga.
The good news is, who are you to deny them their beliefs?..
The bad news is their beliefs also include a lifetime membership in Heaven’s Gate…
The bad news is… There is a comet on the way…
The good news is, you really like chocolate pudding.
The bad news is, someone might read the word “chocolate” in the good news and be inspired to brind Chocolate Cake back into this thread. (Please, please, please just leave him out of this! I’m begging! We might start to run out of ways to kill him off! And then we’d be stuck with him forever! :eek: )
The good news is, Gen. Fehr rose from the dead, and had outlawed chocolate.
The bad news is, he’s drafting you in order to fight The Dread Joel Stein…
The good news is you talked The Dread Joel Stein into killing dismembering and then burning the body of Gen. Fehr.
The bad news is that The Dread Joel Stein wants paid…
The really bad news is that it’s supposed to be “bad news” first, THEN good news.
So the bad news is that The Dread Joel Stein wants paid.
The good news is, he doesn’t mind being paid in USFL memorabilia.
The bad news is, you gava away all your USFL memorabilia in a swap meet in 1989.
The good news is, the rest of Ge. Fehr’s officer staff are coming…
The bad news is, they’re coming for you, and they have as “Aqualung” expressed, bad intent.
The good news is, you bought a packet of sniffable “invisible powder” from a street vendor.
OK,
The bad news is that the powder only turned what you were wearing at that time invisible.
The good news is you were hiding in a nudist camp at the time.
The bad news is, your scars make you instantly identifiable.
The good news is, the officer staff won’t kill you…
The bad news is, the officer’s staff might.
The good news is, the test came back negative …
The bad news is, the test was testing for a personality.
The good news is, personalities are on sale at the local KMart.
The bad news is, they were a Blue Light Special, and now there’s only a couple left.
The good news is, there’s a sale on blue light bulbs …
The bad news is, the bulb frequency was a bit off, so the blue bulbs were actually ultraviolet bulbs.
The good news is, now you can have a kick-ass blacklight party.