The bad news is, the staff all got invited.
The good news is, you’re in a costume…
The bad news is, the fetish party is next door, this is Bobby’s Bar Mitzfah.
The good news is, you’ve got lots of napkins…
The bad news is, they’re all sanitary.
The good news is, the band is playing ragtime music.
The bad news is they are playing it on a combination of bagpipes and accordians…
The good news is, the stereo inside drowns out the sound
The bad news, the stereo inside is playing the exact same thing.
The good news is, you’ve stuck balls of cotton into your ears…
The bad news is, Cotton wants his balls back, and his wife is very angry.
The good news is, the bagpipe and accordion players have come to serenade you with the entire Carpenters songbook.
Just like me, they long to be… :eek:
The bad news is, the bagpipe and accordion players have gone on strike, and were replaced by a wino who plays the armpit tuba.
The good news is, he’ll play twice as long for the same $.
The bad news is, you just blew all your money on Enron stock.
The good news is, street mimes now follow you where ever you go.
The bad news is, you are now being shot at by Frankie Guaraldi, the Great Mime Hunter.
The good news is, you can shoot back…
The bad news is, your only weapon is dollar-store water pistol.
The good news is, Frankie is phobic of water (afraid of getting his white makeup splotched, perhaps?).
The bad news is, your water pistol was loaded with acid, and Frankie likes acid.
The good news is, Frankie tripped on acid and you got away.
The bad news is, he snagged you wallet.
The good new is, Frankie won’t find your house for a good 20 min.
The bad news is, a gang of mimes spotted you and are holding you until Frankie comes. (Those gangs are a real societal menace!)
The good news is, as part of the PR for the campaign, Arnie terminated Frankie and the gang.
The bad news is, now you’re Arnold’s bitch.
The good news is, Arnold’s hand’s arn’t that big.
The bad news is, it ain’t his hands he’s slappin’ you with.
The good news is, you can always wear a leather mask to cover the welts.
The bad news is, leather masks are considered quite the erotic fashion accessory in some communities.
The good news is, with the mask on you can’t tell whether you’re in one of these communities.
The bad news is, you are.
The good news is, no one has seen you yet…
The bad news is, your striking figure makes you very noticeable.
The good news is, your beauty isn’t just skin deep (those implants are really paying off).
The bad news is, the dominatrix wishes to punish you, and the lashes of her whip are more than skin deep.
The good news is you like it, and she gives you a long term discount.
The bad news is, she has taken your credit card, and left town.
The good news is, it wasn’t your credit card, and you’re leaving town, too.