The bad news is, the man whose’s credit card it was is chasing you across the country.
The good news is, how powerful could Gordon Getty be?
The bad news is, he’s in the Mafia.
The good news is, he just wants you to do a job for him.
The bad news is, that job involves destroying New Jersey.
The good news is, the Pirahna Brothers will help you…
The bad news is, the Piranha Brothers disappeared during the blackout and no one has seen them yet.
The good news is, the Piranha Sisters are almost as competent as their borthers…
borthers?!?!?!?
The bad news is that, like their “borthers”, the Pirahna Sisters are afriad of Spiny Norman.
The good news is, Spiny Norman lives in Philadelphia…
The bad news is Spiny Norman is a fruitcake. No, really. We had a real fruitcake which was christened Spiny Norman on account of his Extra Hard Icing (frosting for you forign devils).
The good news is he was delicious once you gnawed through his rock-like carapace.
The bad news is, he gave you a cavity.
The good news is, the Pirahna “borthers” run a dentist’s office.
The bad news is, you have more than one cavity that they want to fill. :eek:
The goods news is, they use plenty of anesthesia.
The bad news is, they’re using it on themselves, not on you.
The good news is, they fall asleep before they start drilling.
The bad news is, the weight of their bodies is pressing the drill into your jaw.
The good news is, they haven’t turned it on yet.
the bad news is, you’re strapped down.
the good news is, you hear the nurse coming in.
The bad news is, she’ll turn the drill on.
The good news is, it may be defective…
The bad news is, if it is defective, they’ll use a hammer and chisel.
The good news is, the nurse is so hot looking, you’re totally distracted.
The bad news is, your now expanding organ begins to prod the “borther” on top of you and he wakes up.
The good news is, he’s smiling.
The bad news is, you didn’t want him to smile.
The good news is, after this, Whitaker Chambers wants to go boating with you…
The bad news is, you’re stuck in the pumpkin patch with Alger Hiss.
The good news is, it looks like the pumpkin crop will be great this year…
The bad news is, that means that you won’t be able to get rid of Linus Van Pelt.
The good news is, he’s now Dr. Linus Van Pelt, Professor of History at Columbia University…
The bad news is, he’s head of the Revisionist History department and he’s come to reclaim all your possessions on behalf of all the indigenous people, wymyn, endangered species, and ecosystems you’ve ruined, you oppressor.
The good news is, even in your current condition, you can probably still kick his ass.
The bad news is, your contract with Real Madrid doesn’t allow you to kick anything other than a soccer ball (football for you forign devils).
The good news is, you’ve got some really cool shin guards.