The bad news is she’s changed. Into a man. And is marrying your mom.
The good news is you’re bulletproof.
The bad news is he gave you the herpes
The good news is your mom is out on parole
xgxlx beat me too it
The bad news is she’s gone back to giving $5 blowjobs again.
The good news is you get to go to Seaworld!
The bad news is you get molested by a love-struck walrus.
The good news is, it’s a hot walrus.
The bad news is it’s still a walrus. It doesn’t matter hot it is.
The good news is you have washboard abs.
The bad news is, it’s still a walrus.
The good news is, it’s free porn day at the local bookstore
The bad news is the hot walrus is actually stolen, and the Feds are closing in.
The good news is Jesus felt grateful enough to thank you in his latest rap album.
The bad news is, they’re literally washboards.
The good news is, it’s free porn day at the local bookstore
(Great minds, HerMajesty, great minds)
(Sigh, I have the worst timing.)
The bad news is bestiality is the only thing on the menu today.
The good news is you happen to love horses.
The bad news is its Bestiality Suprise; you get stuck with the hot walrus.
The good news is, the walrus is terrified of your actual washboard washboard abs and flees.
The bad news is the horses always want to be on top.
The good news is donkeys are also available. . .
The bad news is Chocolate Cake has a washboard fetish.
The good news is he has a bigger fetish for hot walruses(walrii?)
(Mike Tyson is SOOO kicking my ass if he ever reads this)
(end the simulpost madness!!!)
The bad news is I’m Mike Tyson.
The good news is the chocolate cake is on the house. . .
The bad news is that you are forced to go back to the hotel room for a threesome with Chocolate Cake and the walrus.
The good news is you aren’t on the bottom.
The irony, Aholibah
The bad news is that you’re not on the top, either.
The good news is it’s a really nice hotel room.
The bad news is the walls are bleeding and you can hear a ghostly voice saying “GET OUT”
The good news is you’re a fast runner
(IcicleFuzz rocks my world!!!)
The bad news is the walrus is slightly faster.
The good news is someone remembered the vaseline.
The bad news is they also remembered the anal beads.
The good news is there is a pie sale at Wal-Mart.
The bad news is everything costs $3.14.
The good news is the stars have come back from vacation and will now be handing out autographed horoscopes.