The bad news is, it involves catching the zombie’s soul in a jar and selling it in an auction.
The good news is there’s a healthy profit to be made.
The bad news is all profits are paid out to a greedy CEO.
The good news is I’m that CEO.
The bad news is, the lid wasn’t screwed on tightly enough and the soul escaped.
The good news is that the CEO’s office is hermetically sealed.
The bad news is everyone else reading this is drunk and angry about that fact.
The good news is, you have a moat around your house.
The bad news is that CEO in this case stands for Crazy Evil Orangutang.
The good news is we found out the cause of the smell and it was a pickled onion in the place of the mouse roller-ball .
ok i’ll clean up
The good news is that the CEO’s office is hermetically sealed.
the bad news is his memos have monkey pox
The good news is, you have a moat around your house.
The bad news is your home has been dubbed the little Venice of Seattle and the gondola drivers are eyeing up your wife.
now-
The good news is we found out the cause of the smell and it was a pickled onion in the place of the mouse roller-ball .
The bad news is we haven’t located the gas leak yet.
The good news is there is ice cream in the fridge.
the bad news is there’s nothing that goes better with Chocolate Cake than ice cream.
The good news is the ice cream is low fat …
The bad news is that they used the fat that would have gone into the ice cream to make soap and thus explosives.
The good news is we know how the movie ends…
the bad news is it takes nearly four hours to end.
The good news is you’re getting a huge tax refund this year…
The bad news is, you owe it all to your ex for late alimony.
The good news is, your ex is getting married!
The bad news is your ex is marrying your dad.
The good news is your his best man at the wedding.
The bad news is you have to watch your dad marry that lying, cheating bitch.
The good news is, he has refused to change his will…
The bad news is, you were never in his will in the first place.
The good news is, you’ve been appointed Commissioner of the Professional Polo League…
the bad news is, traditionally, the commissioner serves as the ball.
The good news is, you a masochist…
The bad news is, in addition to using your head as the ball, you shall be covered in bat guano by a man dressed as Mario before each match, and, in between chukkas, forced to listen to “Jaye P. Morgan’s Greatest Hits”.
The good news is, you will appear often on TV…
the bad news is, you’ll be the shirtless, toothless, drunken wife beater on Cops.
The good news is, your mom will post bail…
The bad news is, bail is set at 25 lashes with the cat-o-nine-tails.
The good news is, Harvey the Rabbit has come over for dinner…
The bad news is you’re serving mutton.
The good news is he’s a vegetarian…
The bad news is, he thinks you’re a giant carrot.
The good news is, he’s brought some music to listen to…