The one I have says “Shy, hard of hearing, and near-sighted, PLEASE FLIRT AGGRESSIVELY”
Lok
The absolute perfect line is, “Do you want to go to a Dopefest?” 
What a great opener to my very first visit to the website!!
I can honestly say that I have been subtle, and a littel unsubtle with one particular friend…at least as much as my conscience will allow, but to no avail yet…guess Im still very old fashioned…still think it should be him to make the first move - always tend to think that men prefer it to be that way…? maybe not!! ?
Some of us do not:) Although for folks like Neurotik and me, keep a note handy with this written on it:
"I am interested in pursuing a relationship with you. Are you similarly interested in me? Check one:
( )Yes
( )No
( )Ew!"
If you can get past the initial “Hi, I’m raz, yadda yadda yadda” part, I find that using humor can be a great advantage. I’ve got a pretty sarcastic sense of humor and at times can be quite witty, and I’ll throw some of that out there. If they laugh, good sign! If they don’t laugh that either means you aren’t funny (very real possibility, especially with me) or they’re just not the humorous type in which case you should run away.
Remember to use the legs, not the back.
Which oddly enough still sounds like good advice.
There’s also the possibility that the guy is picking up on your subtle hints, but has convinced himself that it’s just his imagination twisting everything you say or do into a perverse little hint.
Meaning that, yes, he will believe that you snuggled up to him that you really were cold… and that you then took off your shirt because you were hot. Or that you wanted him to see what your lip gloss tasted like, but, oops, must’ve lost it somewhere.
Now, objectively, having a half naked girl laying on top of you with her lips on your mouth sends a pretty clear message, right? Right. But we didn’t get there in one step.
So if you’ve got someone that’s just not getting it, sending progressively more and more brazen signals might be counter-productive. You’ve got to jump to something excessive, something which has no other explanation other than your real intentions.
Also, contradicting the innocuous interpretations or subtle stuff could work, too. Snuggle up, look him in the eye, and, in as flat a monotone as you can muster, say “I am not cold.”. Then enjoy his warmth.
I think I can top all the tales of obliviousness.
A few years ago there was a woman I worked with who I was quite smitten with. We’d hung out a little bit, just friends stuff. On Valentine’s Day I gave her flowers and invited her to a play that was opening the next week. She said yes; I was thrilled. A couple days later she sent me an e-mail asking if I could get another ticket so she could bring a date.
My pleasure!
The stories of “subtle (or unsubtle) clues I missed” are great! Neurotik, if that had been me, I don’t think I’d have ever talked to you again. I’d think that the guy didn’t want me and I’d be really embarrassed to have tried anything! Great story though.
The worst part is that I wanted to hook up with her. And everyone knew it, even her! I just didn’t think she was interested in me. Fortunately, a few weeks later we were hanging out again and she finally just looks at me and says, “Look, hints didn’t work, so I’m going to have to try a different approach. I really like you and we should go out.” My jaw pretty much hit the floor.
I’m a bit more aware nowadays. For instance, I know that if a woman is giving me a shoulder rub that I didn’t have to beg for, she probably is interested.
OK, that’s all I know. So, that’s my advice to any women trying to pick me up. Walk over, introduce yourself and give me a shoulder rub. But still be prepared to come out and explain exactly what you’re after, just in case.
Bwahahahaha! 
If it’s not immediately followed by a warm, affectionate kiss, then it is just sarcasm. You have to follow through on something like that.
Well, and this may have already been addressed (I haven’t gotten that far yet), imho, the complex technique is more for the benefit of the shy, terrified asker to be rather than the askee.
I guess the question sill remains, do the complex techniques still work though? I know that I, for one, do feel more comfortable with them than a more brash approach, which somehow feels unfemiinine (don’t bite me, I came of age in an ancient ere :D).
A sense of humor can work wonders.
I’m pretty shy, and my wife got my attention by making fun of me and by having a fine sense of humor in general. We would cross paths often at work and she would always take a gentle good-natured poke at me and get me out of my shell.
One of my clueless stammering idiot moments occurred when I first came to NYC. I was wandering the book stalls on fifth ave at the south end of central park and this woman came up beside me and started thumbing through the post cards and she turned to me with this big smile and said “Hi!”. I smiled and said “hello” back, then we both turned back to postcard flipping-through and my mind raced - now what do I do? Ask her for a cup of coffee? Yeah that’s it!! Ask her for a cup of coffee! Yeah, but then what? Damn, where do we get a cup of coffee around here anyway?? Oh crap! there she goes!!
So, ladies, if you’re going to use a direct approach, allow some time for your target to recover. A plan requiring a simple Yes or No would be welcome.
I’m dense. And I mean really, really dense.
The last girl to pick me up in a bar actually had to tell me straight out what she wanted. That was after she pulled up a barstool, struck up a random conversation at the bar and discussed (what I hope was) her entire sexual history with me.
We need a new, internationally-recognized hand signal for “excuse me, but I’m flirting with you.”
After a brief field test (one test subject), this worked for me on Saturday after my usual opening line: “Hi.”
Scientific proof that this will work in at least some boy-picking-up-girl situations.
Yes, she was a total stranger, no, neither of us were drunk yet.
The response consisted of three parts:
- 4.7 seconds of silent locked gaze
- “Well, why don’t you then?”
- A rather nice smooch.
I love science.
On the one hand, it gives me hope that there are people like me.
On the other hand, if there are many more of us, this can’t be a good thing for the future of humanity.
I think your initial findings are interesting, but we need to repeat the experiment. I would assist, but I’m seeing someone. Hell, maybe I’ll just try it on her tonight.
Don’t fret: y’all are balanced out by the throngs of folks who think that any eye contact or interaction whatsoever means “let’s get it on!” 
There’s a re-work of a statistics joke in there, but the punchline would be too groan-inducing to produce here…