Two-Ears Laybelle
from The Goodies’ cast list for “White Christmas”:
Emma Dreaming
Arthur White
Chris Muss
Jess Like-Dee
Juan Swee
Hugh Sterno
Wendy Treetops-Glissen
Anne Chilled-Wren
Liz-Anne
Two-Ears Laybelle
Cindy Snow
© The Goodies, circa 1976. They also gave us “Norma Snockers”, which still makes me laugh.
Ben Dover
Ilean Dover
Justin Case
Hue Gass
Amanda Hugankiss
I.P. Frealy
Al Kahallick
This is the one I use
Rodriko (pronounce in a thick mexican accent) Douglas (pronounce in a disgiused monotoned voice)
i do know a girl who is really called Binky Moorehead.
but then, i know
a Lasagna Jameson : her father is a chef
a Nirvana O’ Hegarty : who grew up in a commune in Connemara
and a Sanskrit O’Neill : ummm, your guess is as good as mine!
The credits of the Car Talk radio show has some good ones. The whole list is on their web site:
When I was in junior high there was a raffle and a kid put in the name Ben Dover. It was so awesome, because by some stroke of luck, this kid WON!!! The poor Vice-Principle had no idea what he had just said in front of the entire class while he was announcing winners to come up to the stage, so of course he read it multiple time and the hilarity ensued.
Also
Chris P. Nugget
and my favorite of all time…
Drew Peacock
I don’t think this was mentioned yet Wilma Dickfit.
My friend’s personal favorite to use at restaurants is “Dr. Rosenpenis”.
Learn to pronounce a mandarin name properly. Whenever you give your name, make sure they know how to pronounce it. It they can’t get the hang of it, pretend to become very angry.
Foo King
Ima ______ (insert whatever you are)
______ (insert first name) Sux
or, my favorite nickname for an obnoxious boy in my class,
Shut Up
P.S. Max, if you think getting an american to say a mandarin name is tough, try getting one to say your TAIWANESE name. or get a chinese to say your english name. it’s the sort of thing which would lead you to bang your head on a brick wall… trust me. i’ve been there.
I subscibed to Men’s Health one time under the name: Herbert J. McBooby.
Also from the Simpsons: Busty St. Clair, Hooty McBooby, Chesty Laroo, and Max Power (from a hairdryer.)
Stu Pidass: This is my registered name on a lot of internet services
Jack Kingoff: Speaks for itself
Whore O. Matic: Not that witty, but it’s hilarious when I register for something on the web and then, even after specifically asking not to, I get spam saying “Matic family reuinion!” or “Important free stuff for Whore O. Matic!” It makes the Spam a lot easier to tolerate.
Shifty McCrapFace: No hidden meaning, it’s just a funny name to say out loud.
I remember reading that the movie star Jim Carrey checked into a NY hotel under the name “Picollo Thunderbutt.”
I worked with a guy named “Justin Thyme” (pronounced Justin Time).
I was a passenger in a car when we got rear ended at an intersection. Behind the offender was an unmarked squad car with plain-clothes detectives. They rushed to our door and identified themselves as Detective Jones and Detective Smith (or something), to which the driver of our car said “Ya, and I’m Dick Tracy.” Which is his real name. I thought we were going to get shot.
Often I sign in with the hostess at a restaurant as “Christ, Jesus H., party of 13.”
I used to have a shirt with a phony name on it’s back: Little Ricky Alphonzo del Remos Gonzales, Jr., and on the front was “Juan Tough Dude.”
I worked with a guy who knew someone named Dick Passwater.
My favorite fake name is the entertainment package dreamed up by S. J. Perelman: Chalky Aftertaste and his Musical Poltroons.
I don’t know why, but it really cracks me up.
I hope my friend never sees this, cuz it’s his REAL name: Kannagassabapathy (Kah’-Nuh-Goss’-uh-BOP’-uh-thee) Rikki Ratnarajah…and I’m Christopher.
Mike Oxwelling
I always use Martin Van Buren as a fake name, you’d be surprised how few people recognize it.
When I was working at the bank, I saw a couple wierd ones on checks:
Peggy and Harry Beaver
Amanda Koch Tees
(Cock Teese)
I couldn’t help but giggle…
Neva Ontheim
Of course, there’s Mike Oxbig
Let’s see:
Maddick Hertz
Itburz Whenzapi