Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but being a 35 year old straight male who’s looking to meet Ms Right, the following evidence certainly doesn’t help.
I’m an attractive 35 year old unmarried male.
I’ve got a reputation as being “creative” and “eclectic.”
I can hold forth on topics such as the arts and interior design.
I have Florida State of the Arts plates, which I just found out may be the DMV equivalent of a huge rainbow flag.
I enjoy shopping at Pier 1 and [i/]Bed, Bath and Beyond*.
I have absolutely no athletic talent whatsoever, and don’t care about sports in the least.
I’ve got plenty of female friends that I never slept with.
So, let’s forget about online tests. If you’re straight, what really makes you “gay?”
Phwew. That I do, although I’m too scared to approach 'em. “Came to get wicker chairs and those sturdy blue glasses from Mexico with air bubbles in them, not to meet people,” or so is the impression I’m getting from the women in the aisles. Eye contact from women at Pier 1? I wish.
Mate - it may well create difficulties for you sometimes, but let’s face it - you sound like a helluva good catch. Women are always venting about no good men left, and falling for straight men, and all that. When you finally crack it, they wll be going bananas over you.
Back when I was 18, and had a few more wild oats than I do now (relatively speaking of course), I found myself working in a pub in a rough mining/cement manufacturing town. Many of the local girls had left for the city, and the male population was swollen further(easy Redboss mate, I’ve already spotted the double entendre ) by the arrival of huge numbers of contractors and labourers working on construction of a power station. For no reason other than that I was “from the city”, had long hair, and wasn’t sporty, folks thought I was gay. So they trusted me with their girlfriends… So this not particularly good-looking, sexually inexperienced, shy, Johhny Come Lately goofy teenager was getting laid in a town with almost no women, and where many of the locals couldn’t get a bit if they tried. To the OP, my (probably worthless) tomcatting advice is to recognise what you have, what you don’t have, and act accordingly. If you’re not a jock, don’t worry about the fact. Recognise that some women who only like jocks are out of reach to you, and go for the ones who like the sensitive, articulate guys. Good luck, and have fun.
This reminds me of a coworker who asked me one time about her cousin, whom she thought was gay.
He was thirty years old, never married, had a male roommate, and was an interior decorator. I said none of that made him gay (because, let’s face it, I’m 32 and have never been married, and I’m not gay), but it certainly pointed in that direction. Then she told me he had a pet poodle named, “Fluffy”! At which point, I had to say if he wasn’t gay, he was probably missing out.
elmwood, I suggest you check out the book The Catsitters by James Wolcott. Its chock full of advice for a single guy who’s looking to settle down. A very funny book, that I’m not quite through with yet, but I plan on following its advice as it makes a hell of a lot of sense.
I had a straight friend who was – well, let me be frank – more than a little “swishy”. He always dressed impeccably and had his hair very neat and perfectly coifed, wore girly little bracelets, and generally tripped people’s gaydar for miles around. As we were both living in Hillcrest, the predominantly gay district of San Diego, he would often be cruised or approached by gay men.
When this happened he would become angry, stomp his cute little feet and ask, “Why does everyone think I’m gay?!?”
Elmwood…My littlest brother has the same problem. He’s a philosophy grad student, has an adorable little ass, long hair, has no clue about sports or cars or anything remotely manly.
Funny story: You know the Diedrich coffee place next to the “Queen” Soopers in Capitol Hill? (For those that don’t know Denver, this is ground zero for Denver’s hip young gay population.) Anyhow, Aaron likes to sit around in coffee shops reading Kant in the original German & sipping coffee. The summer he stayed with me, he started hanging out there because it’s close to my house. I started getting calls from nice young men asking if Aaron was around, would he like to go to a party, the movies…It never occured to my naive little brother that the guys he chatted with were interested in dating him. He started hanging out at Starbucks instead so as not to break any hearts.
I’m a not-quite-30 woman, I wear my hair ultrashort, enjoy full-contact sport and weightlifting, wear loose, comfortable clothing and practical shoes, and eat organic foods.
Most of the people around me are convince I’m a lesbian.
Before I moved to Denver (from Fort Collins), I didn’t know much about the neighborhoods in the city, but I did know that I wanted to live close to downtown. I spent a day walking around the Capital Hill area looking at apartments, and stumbled on Diedrich’s. I stopped in to get a cup of joe and read the paper, and quickly realized that I was very out-of-place. With no exceptions, all other patrons were very attractive, tall, fit men, which made me think …
[ot]
Not yet … I’m waiting until I close on the house in Orlando. I delayed the car purchase for another year or so. I decided that I want to put the equity from the Northwest Denver house (my old neighborhood emerging as ground zero for Denver’s lesbian community, BTW) into assets that will appreciate, for at least a little while.
I was with you until Bed, Bath and Beyond at which point the gaydar needle got pegged so hard it simply snapped off. It’s time to face the facts you are gay my dear elmwood, NTTAWWT but you need to come out of the closet into the light. Esprix and others will will show you the way.
And just because we are sympathetic to your “confusion” here is someone with a similar plight.
elmwood love, you couldn’t possibly be gay since you haven’t been a love interest for me. I seem to have a Grace thing going for me with the guys I have been interested in.
So, as long as we don’t know each other too well, you should be safe if that is not the path you want to take in life.
My dearest ex-girlfriend wore no makeup, wore sensible clothes, was somewhat tomboyish, and was cute in a Jodie Fosterish kind of way. Yup, she got a lot of attention from those playing on “the other team.” (BTW, she’s happily married now, with kids and a house in the sprawl of Southern New Mexico.)
) by the arrival of huge numbers of contractors and labourers working on construction of a power station. For no reason other than that I was “from the city”, had long hair, and wasn’t sporty, folks thought I was gay. So they trusted me with their girlfriends… 
So this not particularly good-looking, sexually inexperienced, shy, Johhny Come Lately goofy teenager was getting laid in a town with almost no women, and where many of the locals couldn’t get a bit if they tried. To the OP, my (probably worthless) tomcatting advice is to recognise what you have, what you don’t have, and act accordingly. If you’re not a jock, don’t worry about the fact. Recognise that some women who only like jocks are out of reach to you, and go for the ones who like the sensitive, articulate guys. Good luck, and have fun.
