From my dad’s collection:
“Metaphors Be With You”
He’s a creative writing prof, & he loves that one.
I used to have one with 2 quotes on the back:
“I cannot live without books.” – Thomas Jefferson
“I don’t want to live in a country that can’t make its own television sets.” – H. Ross Perot
I have a black t-shirt that says “As a matter of fact, the world does revolve around me” in white letter.
My friend Mike has a t-shirt with the First Amendment on the back.
I saw these two over the weekend, shopping with my sister-in-law at the mall:
[li] A t-shirt with a picture of a cat that says “If you want a friend…get a dog”[/li][li] A sweatshirt covered in pawprints that says “My cat walks all over me”[/li]Can you tell I’m a cat-person?
One more
** Will fuck for Coke! **
The wearer didn’t look like he meant the drink.
My sister has a black t-shirt that says, “I’m only wearing black until they make something darker.”
I want the one with the chemical structure of theobromine on it! (Obviously)
-Theobroma
This is your brain. (small picture of a brain)
THIS IS MINE!!! (large picture)
Anti-Magic Zone: All M:TG cards in a 10’ radius will be confiscated and destroyed (seen at RPG conventions)
I read your e-mail. (worn by my friend who administers e-mail for McKesson)
I iz ah hi skul grajuat
I WISH THESE WERE MY BRAINS (across chest)
My favourite two are:
Tattooed in places you’d love to lick
And
Canadian Girls Kick Ass
Great bar shirts.
I actually have bought these tees, and wear them occasionally:
WARNING
We smokers have determined that your bitching may be hazardous to your health.
The weather’s here, wish you were beautiful.
I am not only perfect, but I am Irish, too!.
[sub]I have only worn the last one once in an Irish bar on St. Patrick’s Day. When people asked me if I was Irish, I had to reply:
“No…Unfortunately, I am only perfect!”
Ok, this isn’t a favourite - it just stands out in my mind because of how inappropriate it was…
For a while in high school, I attended Youth Group at the local chuch. One of the other girls wore a t-shirt that said
All the time I spent there, and my most vivid memory is that shirt!
There’s been a slew of vegetarian threads lately, and everytime I see one, I think of this -
How many tomatoes had to die for your salad?
Saw this one at some website… can’t remember where: “The Internet… I can’t believe it’s not better!”. Another… interesting… one i’ve seen: “Save a tree. Eat a beaver.” 
well, I’ve made quite a few of my own shirts…
Punk Snot Dead
Your Favorite Hymn Sucks (which the Onion stole from me)
Save the planet - kill yourself
but my two favorite store bought were:
I do what the penguins tell me to
and
[sub]can’t sleep, clowns will eat me… can’t sleep, clowns will eat me… can’t sleep, clowns will eat me… can’t sleep, clowns will eat me… can’t sleep, clowns will eat me… can’t sleep, clowns will eat me… can’t sleep, clowns will eat me… can’t sleep, clowns will eat me… can’t sleep, clowns will eat me… can’t sleep, clowns will eat me… can’t sleep, clowns will eat me… can’t sleep, clowns will eat me… can’t sleep, clowns will eat me… can’t sleep, clowns will eat me… can’t sleep, clowns will eat me… can’t sleep, clowns will eat me… [/sub]
I like. . .I made one up myself today but now I can’t remember it. . .Shoot!
The one in my closet:
I did NOT escape, they gave me a Day Pass.
I saw one once with a lady using a razor on a beaver. It was drawn in a 1940s textbook illustration style. The lady was thinking, “My husband asks me to do the craziest things sometimes!”
A few cool ones my friends have:
Things Men Know About Women:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10. Women have boobs.
Stop talking.
It’s not your mind I’m interested in.
Witness Protection Program
You don’t know me.
I got that shirt for my daughter last year for Christmas. She was 12 and in 7th grade. The school told her it was inappropriate and not to wear it again. 
I still don’t know why they objected.
Sheri
Because schools are pussified and snivelling. They’re worried about torrential lawyer downpours and have ex-psych majors who couldn’t hack it as their rules enforcers.
[sub]Note: if you happen to be a dean or other person in a position of authority in a school, and you aren’t seen as a total dick by your student body, and you are an ex-psyche major who couldn’t hack it - by all means lemme know. [/sub]
I just thought of another great shirt I got kicked out of school for: Had a headless dude holding up a sign: Will work for HEAD.
I saw a great t-shirt that read: “F*ck you. I don’t need any more friends.”
‘I’m not deaf, I’m ignoring you’ But I changed it to ‘I’m deaf, I’m ignoring you’
My personal favorite:
If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much room.
Woohoo! My first post!