My favourite ‘doesn’t remember Homer’ bit:
‘Smithers! Who is that lollygagger?’
‘Homer Simpson, sir. One of our chair moisteners from Sector 7G.’
Burns: That man who’s getting all those laughs, Smithers. Who is he?
Smithers: Homer Simpson, sir, one of the carbon blobs from sector 7G …
Burns: I’m pleased to dedicate this remote work terminal. It will allow our safety inspector here to perform his duties from home. And so excelsior to you, Mr… [to Smithers] What’s the name of this gastropod?
Smithers: Simpson, sir. One of your chair moisteners from Sector 7G.
Burns: Who is that lavatory linksman, Smithers?
Smithers: Homer Simpson, sir. One of the fork and spoon operators from sector 7G.
Burns: Well, he’s certainly got a loose waggle.
Burns: Really Smithers, I’ll be fine. I’m sure your replacement will be able to handle everything. Who is he, anyway?
Smithers: Uh, Homer Simpson, sir. One of your organ banks from sector 7G. All the recent events of your life have revolved around him in some way.
Burns: Simpson, eh?
L. T. Smash: It’s a three-pronged attack: subliminal, liminal and superliminal.
Lisa: Superliminal?
L. T. Smash: I’ll show you. (leans out of window) Hey, you! Join the Navy!
Carl: Uh, yeah, all right.
Lenny: I’m in.
Krusty on the Canyonero: “It’s the Cadillac of automobiles!”
Homer: Hey! Your early porno movies! Are any of these hetero?
Rainier Wolfcastle: What’s there is there.
At a marriage retreat:
Flanders: Sometimes Maude, God love her … well, she underlines passages in my Bible instead of hers!
Homer: [Sotto voce] Humph! Good thing you don’t keep guns in the house!
Thanks. Guess I misremembered it.
A similar sequence that I love just as much…
Chief Wiggum: Uh, I hate to interrupt your fun boys, but I got a few complaints that your game is crooked.
Homer: [laughs] And how.
Chief Wiggum: Gee, I’d hate to close you down. Maybe we can reach a little, uh, understanding here.
[holds out his hand]
Homer: [monotone] I understand.
Bart: Um, hey, Dad, I… I think he wants…
Homer: Not right now, Son. Daddy’s talking to a policeman.
Chief Wiggum: Uh, let me put it this way. I’m looking for my friend Bill.
[glances down at the cash box]
Chief Wiggum: Have you seen any Bills around here?
Homer: No.
[points to Bart]
Homer: He’s Bart.
Chief Wiggum: [groans] Listen carefully, and watch me wink as I speak, okay?
Homer: Okay.
Chief Wiggum: The guy I’m really looking for, wink,
[winks]
Chief Wiggum: is Mr. Bribe, wink, wink.
[winks twice]
Homer: It’s a ring toss game.
Chief Wiggum: All right, that’s it. I’m shutting this game down.
Chief Wiggum: “No, you’ve got the wrong number. This is 9-1-…2.”
Homer sees Bart on TV at the shelter: “Operator! Give me the number for 911!”
Chief Wiggum (sitting at the police station and seeing the robot baby harp seals move towards the door to their jail cell): “Omigod! I’d better call 911!” (gets busy signal) “Jeez, that is ALWAYS busy! Idiots.”
Later, as the game is being towed away:
Carny: Why didn’t you offer him a bribe?
Homer: I was trying, but the opportunity never came up!
Cooder: Hey, you lost your money fair and square! I didn’t scam nobody!
Homer: Put down your stick, we’re here to work. Starting today, we’re Carnies just like you.
Cooder: Well, in that case, let me show you how I scammed you.
Marge : “Apu’s not guilty of anything except violating US law”
Homer, praying : “God, if you want me to eat these cookies give me absolutely no sign…thy will be done” (gobbles the cookies)
This match will determine once and for all which nation is the greatest on earth – Mexico or Portugal!
Pray… For… Mojo
“The frogurt is also cursed.”