I’m the mother of two daughters, ages 13 and 15. I would have called the sick girls’ parents just so the 1am knock on their door didn’t scare the bejesus out of them (or interrupt their naked party).
But, honestly, I don’t see anything horrifically wrong with the situation described in the OP. We’ve hyper-protective in this country.
I never intended to suggest that I considered them incapable of accomplishing this task.
I’m not sure I can assume every other child’s parents will have the same opinions as I as to which laws are or are not “bullshit.” In fact, I’m not sure I agree that a legal curfew is “bullshit.”
Heck, you can’t assume every other family shares your same religious or political values. But as a baseline, I think it pretty safe to assume that the overwhelming majority of parents agree to follow the laws of which they are aware.
I’ve had situations where I received a phone call from an irate parent because I used the word “hell” in front of their kid. And folks were upset when I let a group of kids walk on the frozen ice near the shore of a pond. Neither of these were illegal. So perhaps I am overcautious with respect to the liberties I will take regarding kids other than my own.
Anyone is free to do differently. I personally just don’t see it as wise or necessary.
I certainly did not intend to suggest that curfew violation is the first irreversible step towards a life of crime. I’m just suggesting that there are so many grey areas and judgment calls in parenting that, personally, I’ve seen no reason to complicate the raising of my kids by rejecting legality as a guide.
As they get older, I’ve had no problem telling them that in many situations whatever they think of the law, they can choose to act differently, but they must be prepared to deal with the implications should they get caught. My personal opinion, however, is that 14 is a tad young to start that approach, certainly with respect to other peoples’ kids.
I think I suggested the hosts accompany the kids home. Altho I think calling ahead might be a good idea, and then, if the other folks offered to pick them up, they could. Which would you prefer - a phone call telling you your kid is coming home, or to hear the sound of your door open and someone come inside? Or to be out partying thinking your kid is at a sleepover, and come home at 2-3 a.m. and find your 9-year old was in their bed home alone, rather than at the sleepover where you thought they’d be?
Heck, maybe one parent could even walk the dog 1/2 block behind the girls or something. Not because it is necessarily necessary, but because I think it is the responsible thing for a parent - or one who is standing in the position of the parent by hosting a sleepover - to do. Goes with the decision to be a parent, and to allow participation in activities such as sleepovers.
Not a perfect analogy, but from an early age I repeatedly told my kids that if they are ever in a situation where they need a ride at any time, to give me a call and I will pick them up with no questions or recriminations (tho I expect we will discuss it later).
Personally I would think it is over-reacting.
A group of three 12 years olds is certainly qualified to walk someone home two blocks safely and return. Suggesting that they are not is really a sign of no respect, which is one of those self-replicating cycles. Rersponsiblity should be gradually increased, and if they are not at that responsibilty level by then they are behind the curve in my mind.
Well, like I said, it’s not solely a matter of responsibility in my mind. If it was that, I’d have the same problem with a 5 PM trip. Or, in the Burger King story, the problem would’ve been that they walked a couple of miles away from where they were dropped off, when instead, the problem people had was that they weren’t at the meeting place when it was time to be picked up, and didn’t let anyone know that they were going to be late.