Thanks for that. And to Rascal’s Mom and everyone else for the nice words.
As far as what I’m looking for? I don’t know some one to share my life with I guess. This girl I got all excited about because upon first impression, she seemed intelligent (she reads books FCOL!) we shared a lot of the same ideas etc… This was the first time in a good two or three years that I met some one so compatible to myself. So yeah, I got a little overly excited (My first mistake) and canceled plans with my son.
Obviously my first impression was wrong so I’m sure you can understand why I felt like shit. Also hindsight is 20/20. If I could have that weekend back I would have definately spent it with my son.
I get what your saying with the whole word games bit. I’m just no good at it myself so I don’t even try.
QFT. Shakes, you’re an awesome parent. You had a little bump in the road of love, and you’re handling it with aplomb. Don’t mind the assholes, just keep on truckin’
…and it’s hard to slip her a square sausage ::d+r::
“Oh oh oh! What about the children!!!” Gimme a fucking break. God forbid a grown man should want to get a little nookie every now and then. It’s not like he made the kid wait in a dark alley or something while he went barhopping. The kid was with his mother! Who is presumably a good parent, too. Hey, maybe Mom will want to do something on a weeknight sometime, and ask if she can drop him off at SHAKES’s place for the evening. Then I guess they’ll both be shitty parents. Someone call Child Services, 'cause SHAKES Jr. is obviously on a road that can only lead to hard time in the federal supermax!
And what’s with all this “oh, you need to give 100% of your attention to your son when you are with him” stuff. What? SHAKES shouldn’t be allowed to do the dishes? Take a dump? Bullshit with a friend on the phone for a while? Should he confine these activities to weekdays only? Believe me, the kid doesn’t want 100% of dad’s attention all the time! He probably wants some time to chill out and watch Scooby Doo and play with his Power Rangers or whatever it is that kids do these days. SHAKES is a parent. His job is to be a parent. It’s not to be a full-time entertainment machine.
Furthermore, it’s ridiculous that people are asking him to define exactly what he was ultimately looking for with this woman. Sounds like he wanted a hot date and to see how things went from there. That’s NORMAL!! That’s pretty much standard operating procedure for those of us who aren’t completely socially handicapped or insane. We don’t sit around obsessing over (or starting long and whiny IMHO threads about) the future of relationships that haven’t even started yet.
Speaking of which–there have been a lot of comments about the low quality of people that you meet in bars. Well, if you’re able to meet a person in a bar at all, that means that you’re there too, right? So either you’re also a low quality person yourself, or maybe there are all sorts of people who go to bars on occasion, and you can’t necessarily generalize.
And all of you people bragging on how long you went without dating for the sake of the chiiiiiillllldddddrennnn–you’re just playing the martyr. It’s pathetic. Or maybe you just can’t get laid, and you’re trying to make yourself seem noble instead of merely unattractive. And that’s also pathetic.
I mean, look at this guy:
So he didn’t get laid for 11 years? Jeez, I’ll bet he was a great father! Uptight, edgy, and totally self-righteous. With a bad habit of playing pocket pool every chance he got. I’m sure his daugter really appreciates his “sacrifice.” I just really don’t get how not ever having sex could make a person a better parent.
This kind of thinking only leads to resentment. And a decade or more of frustration and resentment is far more harmful than an occasional evening apart.
I’m a healthy 36 year old woman. I need to have a sex life. And I don’t need to apologize for it.
Fortunately, I have a 50/50 joint custody arrangement with the ex, so it’s easy to work around the times I have with my son. And frankly, I get laid often enough already that I wouldn’t feel the need to rearrange my son’s schedule for a date with some new guy. But I can sure feel for single parents who aren’t quite so lucky.
So to all you self-righteous assholes who are piling on poor ol’ SHAKES for daring to want to go on a date with an attractive woman: Get a freaking life or something. Jesus!
p.s. Obligatory disclaimer for that one-in-a-thousand situation that someone is sure to come up with: If, for some reason, you having any kind of independent social life would have caused genuine harm to your child, then I applaud you. Okay?
Yeah, I also think it’s worth accolades when someone shows up several days late for the wrong party. Oh no wait, it’s fucking pathetic. All the spittle-soaked ranting of Green Bean has nothing to do with the argument that it’s rude to stand people up, even if they’re your kids so you can get away with it. Pretty much everyone agreed that going out is fine as long as you plan responsibly for it INCLUDING THE OP WHO THINKS HE MADE A MISTAKE. But you go on and lick the ass of obvious imbeciles and jackasses.
Who do you think you are, judging me? That was rude, stereotypical and ignorant. Raising my daughter as best as I could given the situation was far more important to me than getting laid.
I’ve overcome my Neanderthal instincts for a higher purpose. Looks like you haven’t.
You get uptight and edgy when you don’t get laid? What’s **your **problem?
And who’s the self-righteous one? Me for not thinking of myself before my daughter, or you?
I’m glad some of the people in this thread weren’t writers on The Courtship of Eddie’s Father. How boring would that show have been?
“Dad, I think you should get married. Here’s how I’m going to work on…”
“Wait, son. There’s not going to be any dating or anything for me. You’re number one. You’ll always be number one. I’m going to do nothing but dote on you like a stalker until you’re married.”
[hilarious hijinks don’t ensue.]
dmatsch, an instinct towards having sex, or wanting to have sex, does not make one a Neanderthal. In fact, without it, it’s safe to say that homo sapiens would not have come about without it.
Also, I doubt that the root of Charles Manson’s problems were that he missed one weekend with his father when he was seven. But keep up the crazy, over-the-top hyperbole. It’s just a good reminder that all is right in the world, Liberal.
If you have a standing appointment for every goddamn weekend for the next 15 years, it’s simply reasonable to expect to be “stood up” (you don’t seem to use that phrase the way I think it’s meant) once in a while. The OP thinks he made a mistake because the date turned out to be a flake and there was no reason to cancel the whole weekend. Not because your uptight self righteous morality has won the day.
Holy fuck, you must be annoying in person. Or hopefully be the type to quickly STFU when everybody isn’t agreeing with you.
