I know I am going to hear that he’s talking, we’re just in cublicles, but he is talking, like 1.5 - 2x as loud as he should be when he’s on the phone!!
And he is always on the phone, not even work related stuff!!
And he is dumb as a bag of hammers!!!
^(&%^*^%!!!
Kinda ironic, given your user name.
I’ve got one of these in the cubicle next to me. Not only is he loud - he’s an idiot! He spent half a day trying to convince anyone who would listen that the expression “Money is no object” derived from “Money is no objection” 
He’s the same one who went on and on about the Winston-Salem Witch Trials. And he’s constantly asking his divorced cube-mate about her ex.
He’s reached retirement age - I wish he’d go. It’s not like he contributes to productivity in any way.
[sub]Seven more years and I can retire…[/sub]
Hey you!, do you work at a Minneapolis-based retailer with a red logo? Does the guy’s first name start with a B?
If so, it’s probably the guy my company shipped off to y’all a couple of months ago. I used to work with the jackass.
I’ve got one of those behind me, except it’s the female of the species. Not only does she blather incessantly on the telephone about the most mundane things–to friends, parents, sister, whatever–she also sucks loudly on hard candy, eats noisily, and on occasion trims her nails with a fingernail clipper.
At weast he doesn’t tawk baby-tawk, wike some coworkers I could mention . . .
One of my nemeses was a coworker who would play her voicemail on speakerphone every morning. Very loudly. :mad:
I thought about calling late one night from a payphone & leaving a pornographic message. Alas, sometimes my good sense overrules my sense of playful mayhemmery.
Uhhhhh… just take a piss in the lobby from now on.
“And I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m, I’m quitting, I’m going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and its not okay because if they take my stapler then ill set…” - Milton, Office Space.
Sadly, you get used to it. I had a neighbor in a cubicle who had a voice like a foghorn. People up and down the hall started shutting office doors for the first time in years. After a period of time, I actually was able to drown him out of my hearing…I know it sounds strange, but seriously - I didn’t hear him anymore. He would sometimes talk to me and have to tap my shoulder to let me know he was talking to me.
Worse, however, is the lip-smacking eater who used to sit next to me…it sounded like she was giving somebody a blow job whenever she ate, and a LOUD one at that. I had to leave whenever she ate (which was a lot) but luckily the guy I worked for sympathized with me and didn’t care when I would suddenly take a walk from my desk for no particular reason.
Yep. The guy in the cube next to me seems to have some sort of condition. He eats loudly, snorts constantly, coughs without covering his mouth, listens to BAD music very loudly in his headphones, and grunts and swears at the computer. When he talks it’s in a weird nasally voice, he repeats parts of the sentence 4 or 5 times, and the volume varies constantly.
grunt, snort “So, so, so, SO!, this encryption algoRITHM! will only, will only, WILL ONly work if we make a make a a a snort maJOR! CHANGE.”
Sometimes I just want to lean over and smack him upside the head in hopes that it would reboot him.
There’s a woman in my office that has to say EVERYTHING at least TWICE.
"Can I use the copier? (I sez Go Ahead)
Thanks. Reason I ask is, I 've got a lot of reports to get out. So you don’t need it now? Good. These reports are actually late already. So, I’m gonna copy them now - unless you need the machine…
I’ve started to walk away in mid-sentence. She doesn’t appear to notice.
I’ve got one of those myself. In our old office space we rearranged stuff so that he could have a corner cubicle near the window (fewer people nearby to annoy). When we moved to our new location, it was all cubicles except for 3 offices. Guess who we decided should get his own office*? Thank god the stock market tanked as I was fed up with hearing him day trading with his volume on “11”.
*[sub]In retrospect maybe I should’ve been “annoying guy” in order to get my own office.[/sub]
Suck it up and take it like a man!
I’m stuck in an office w/ a coworker who is listening to downloaded hindi rap music.
I used to have Ms. Hoarky-Snorts next to me. Her desk had been moved many times because people next to her go crazy. Loud snorts, hoarks, and swallows – shudder – along with loud eating, burping and farting.
I cannot stand people who eat loudly (and if Judith’s finger nail clipper was next to me she’d be beaten to death with her keyboard), but the hoarky-snorts are what drove me nuts. So I wore earplugs. My supervisor knew this, and thought it was funny. (I have long hair, so it was quite discreet.) The Boss was aware of Ms. Hoarky-Snorts’s reputation for disturbing others with her noises, but thought it was a joke when my supervisor laughingly said that the reason I was the only one who could deal with it is because I wore earplugs.
One day, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the Boss standing in the hall with his hand covering his mouth as if he was trying to decide whether or not to say something. Ms. Hoarky-Snorts had just left for the day and he was watching her disappear around the corner.
Finally, the Boss turned to me and said incredulously “Did you hear that?” Apparently, Ms. Hoarky-Snorts had, in my Boss’s words, “burped so loud he thought the ceiling would crack.” He’d heard it from his office down the hall.
I reached up, pulled out an earplug and said: “Pardon?”
Boss started to giggle like a little boy. Yes, the rumours were true! She did make that much noise.
Ms. H-S wasn’t very friendly (putting it mildly) and finally got fired for being excessively rude to her co-workers and telling off a client.
Ah… quietude!
A request for my coworkers:
If you insist on having long conversations and/or debates with each other, could you please stop shouting across the cubicles? Just because you’re not on deadline this week doesn’t mean the rest of us have that luxury, and some of us don’t feel like listening to you every friggin’ day.
Thank you.
On one side of me is the guy who fires up the saccharine Christian Rock MP3’s every afternoon.
Behind me is the woman who spends her work days on the phone with personal service people (her home phone line, her auto mechanic, etc.) loudly arguing with them about why their inability to meet her unreasonable demands is somehow their fault.
I have perfected the Mental Cone of Silence.
I’ll have my own office by the end of the year.
It’s bigger than the one I’m currently sharing with someone.
It’s at the end of the hall, and has a door that opens and closes.
Heh heh heh.
Wow. I guess I should count my lucky stars!
My first office job and the CIO’s office is right down the hall. He watches ‘Batman Beyond’ every day and burns copies for me.
Hehe.
We have a jabbering Judy, she comes to work and goes from person to person and individually fills everyone in on each and every detail of what she did after she got off work yesterday. You have already heard the story six times by the time she makes it to your cubicle and you will hear it another five times before she gets out of hearing range. “After work yesterday I went to the Target store and bought a new set of dish towels then I went to the A&W and had a hamburger, fries and a root beer, then I went to Barnes and Noble and looked at the books, after that I went to the bowling alley to watch the people bowl.” She repeats the same story, verbatim, to each and every person. Customers are treated to the story, employees from other areas are snagged and treated to the story. By noon or so she is telling everyone what has transpired in her life from eight to eleven