How exactly does the OP know, with certainty, that these two fellows didn’t owe the girls some money? Say for a Christmas collection when the guys were shy cash? Or out at the bar a few nights ago? Or the girls bought lunch last time they went out?
Unless you know this with certainty, I’m not seeing how you can cast aspersions on anyone, to be honest.
Besides which people can only take advantage if you play along. Both fellows played along, no gun to head. They are grown men. It’s on them entirely. And I’m really not seeing how it’s any of your damn business. What was keeping you from going to an ATM and getting cash for your share? Would have kept you from this entirely.
The world is warmer and more cooperative to pretty girls. I’m not seeing that it’s going to change anytime soon. Even if you’re stridently not into the flirting to advantage angle, if you’re a pretty young thing, it seems whenever you are in distress there is always a willing volunteer assistant near by. You didn’t ask for that, you’re not ‘taking advantage’, you’re being offered help/assistance! You’d be a fool not to accept.
But looks fade, and no one stays young forever. One day you become aware that the world isn’t quite as embracing and willing as it once was. The power and beauty of youth cannot be understated, but you better bring something more to the game, for when those things are gone.
If you are correct and they are taking advantage, consider their future. If you’re all about your looks, and you’re heavily invested in looks as ‘asset’ or currency, the key to getting ahead, your future isn’t going to be pretty. Because you will get old and less attractive, and then even you won’t like you and you’ll be destined to never find happiness. Yikes!
Ah yes, the grand old Internet debating approach that goes “Let’s imagine some set of circumstances that would mean I was right, and pretend that’s what happened”.
What’s your freaking problem exactly? Are you saying that had you overheard such an exchange your first thought would be, “These girls are clearly users!”, and not “Maybe he owes her money.”.
Maybe it’s just me but my first thought would be, something else might be at work that I am not privy to.
So terribly sorry my honest opinion sent you both over the damn edge. I will try to refrain from upsetting you in future.
Oh good, that’s very thoughtful of you. Maybe, I don’t know, I assumed that if you were short of five bucks and someone present owed you five bucks, you might ask “Hey, guy #1, you got that fin I lent you?” and not start whining for someone to pay for you. But yeah, I agree in principle it’s possible things were playing out the way you called it. It’s just that plenty of people in this thread aren’t finding it at all hard to believe this was just the Mooch Sisters in action.
If the guy was a “douche,” you were one and then some.
What’s with not helping a roommate out, six months and one guitar lesson? Your time must be really, really goddamn valuable. And I’m sure that homework help must have seemed like hundreds in your eyes.
Not to mention that you were breaking several ethical conventions, and you knew it.
I almost never have cash on me. Of course, when the subject of lunch comes up I say “I don’t have any cash, it will need to be somewhere I can use a card.” Or, I run to the cash machine.
My parents have long time friends like this. He forgets his wallet. They stopped going out for dinner with them and now my mother just meets the wife for coffee. i don’t think it’s a gender thing, although cute young women possibly have longer term success
Yeah, but if someone orders food on his card, then you either check you’ve got it in cash, or check that he’s ok with you paying him later.
I did get stuff for by male friends and acquaintances a lot when I was younger, and still occasionally even now, to the point that protests get awkward. I scrub up well, and have never been short of guys hitting on me, but that’s pretty ordinary, really. I think it’s mainly that I’m generally a lot poorer than the bloke and they’d probably do the same for poorer male friends if social etiquette didn’t make that awkward.
Yes, if I heard that, I would not assume he owed her money, for multiple reasons. First off, she was already trying to get the OP to cover for it. If someone owed her money, it would have made more sense for her to have had them pay for it. Second, when getting someone to pay for you who owes you money, you tend to remind them that they owe you money. If she doesn’t mention it, he has no way of knowing that his payment will count against what he owes her. Money that is given to you is assumed to be a gift unless one side or the other mentions it being something you owe. Third, she already has shown a history of trying to manipulate people into paying for her by waiting until the OP had already ordered the pizza. Fourth, she has a history of a lopsided relationship with the other person. Finally, he did it for the other lady, too, and it is unlikely she owed him money. And his reaction showed that he didn’t think it was fair.
And it wasn’t your opinion that offended. It was how you presented it. You acted all offended that the OP judged the lady. You got all upset that they cast aspersions on them.
And may I remind you of your previous comment that people who get all offended because someone decided to judge someone are generally very judgmental themselves?
Just a thought: how would these women react if they were accused of sexist behavior? (dialogue script stolen from the Captain Awkward site)
Shakes: Girl-1 you got your $5?
Girl-1: I don’t have any money.
Shakes: [Face Palm]
Girl-1: Hey Guy-1 can you pay for me?
Guy-1: Uh.. Wha..? Yeah, I guess.
Shakes to Girl-1 “That’s pretty offensive.” . Now, about [work question]
Girl-1: [derailing word-vomit of questions like “What did I say that was offensive? Why is that offensive?”]
Shakes: “It’s sexist and not appropriate for work. So, about work question…..“
DO NOT ENGAGE her on the substance of why the thing is ______ist. Even if you’re correct, it’s not an argument you will win to your satisfaction or want to engage in. Just keep repeating, in the most boring, flat, monotone and trying to change the subject.
If she really pushes back at you, defer to her position as woman. “How would you suggest I respond when someone says something sexist or acts sexist at work? No matter if it was a man or woman who did that?“
Sometimes I wonder if that is how rich (unprincipled) people stay rich.
A few years ago, my wealthy sister came to town for our grandmother’s funeral. All she had for cash was a hundred-dollar bill. For some reason, for the 2-1/2 days she was there, she could *never *find a place that could make change for a hundred dollar bill. :dubious: So places that were cash-only (the parking lot, the small coffee shop), she could never pay her way.
I’m so happy that, in my family, if I were you, I would feel no shame in announcing to all 5 siblings that they’d better pay me back or nobody who owes me money (specifically for the TV gift) will receive ANYTHING for Christmas…
Really? He bugged you for six months about giving him a guitar lesson? And only after the lesson did you mention that, oh, by the way, my hourly rate is $30? Bull shit. Unless he actively lied, and said, “Yes, I will pay in cash,” you’re incredibly naive for expecting payment. This is very different from a spur of the moment, “Oh, I forgot to bring my wallet to Papa John’s” situation.