Guys: Would you be jealous about this? [Adult Content]

If your SO told you of a sexual encounter she’d had some years before you met, which took place in a toilet in a youth hostel, where the man whom she’d just met that evening and would never see again was so spectacularly well-endowed that not only could she not fit him inside her, she couldn’t fellate so much as the head of it…

How would this make you feel?

Because it makes me mad as hell, and terribly depressed, but I’m not sure why.

She has two children by her first husband, and they obviously didn’t get here by the stork express, but that doesn’t bother me a bit… quite the opposite. But that anecdote of hers has been killing me since she told me it just a few months after we met.

I’d really appreciate knowing how other men react / handle stuff like this and any advice on what on earth I can do so I’m not angry any more. :frowning:

I wouldn’t want to be told that, and it would probably eat at me a little.

A woman should respect that any man (even a confident one) still would have a bit of insecurity about being out-gunned in the business department.

OTOH, Captain Hugedong wasn’t getting any pussy, and he wasn’t getting any head either. Now who’s laughing?

If she couldn’t get it inside her or even suck it, it seems to me that he lost out, not you. But there is definitely such a thing as TMI within a relationship, and that does cross the line, IMO: the Missus and I both had previous partners, but they’re not something we discuss in detail - don’t know, don’t wanna know. If it’s really eating you up, sit her down and talk to her about it and let her know that you’re pissed off - seething quietly is bad for both of you.

Not a man, but I think unless you are a virgin or you expected your partner to be a virgin, then you should be prepared to hear about your partners sexual past. How you deal with that is up to you but getting upset about something that happened before you met someone seems to be a big waste of energy.

Whoaa. . . dude, how’s she doing?


Yeah, we all have sexual pasts.

I don’t bring up the thing that Little Susie used to do with her finger and the wife doesn’t bring up what Big Ron used to do with his dong.

That’s called respect. What possible good can discussing past sexual exploits serve?

ReubenH’s girl is either stupid or malicious. Of course you know your SO has had a past, but there is a right way and a wrong way to discuss it.

If you dated a guy a few months and he told you, “My old girlfriend had a nice tight ass” you couldn’t help but think of it as a dig at you.*

This bugs me because it’s exactly the kind of immature mean thing I did in past relationships before I grew up.

In previewing my post I see that I assumed you’re a hetero female, apologies if you’re neither, KIWI!

I’m sure matters must have been resolved to some kind of satisfaction. Who would have simply given up and walked off? I dread to ask her, but my awful brain likes to pick at itchy scabs and cant help but wonder about that…

Not to that level of explicit detail surely? Though it’s not just the appalling details … it’s also the horrifically casual nature of it. She had a number of serious long-term relationships before me, and none of them bother me in the least. Only Biggus Dickus in that damned toilet… :mad:

The worst thing though, the very worst thing, is the knowledge that if I’d also met her on that night, she’d still have copped off with him, not me. I am a quiet geeky kind of guy, and she didn’t go for “my sort” until very much later. I can’t begin to describe how that eats me up.

Amen to that. I can’t think of a single answer.

You know Rueben, the movie Eyes Wide Shut is about this exact issue.

That was your SO?

Tell her I said hi. :wink:

Sorry, couldn’t help…Yeah, that crosses the line of good taste. So what she had that happen, dragging it out for you was over the line. Unless it came in the context of one of those drunken "Let’s talk about our wildest sexual experiences"conversations, then it was inevitable.

Why was she telling you this? I suspect it came up as a “Most unforgettable moment” kinda thing.
Unlike the example sleeepy2 came up with, I seriouasly doubt that this can be a dig at you: “Gee, I wish your penis was so large that I couldn’t fuck it or suck it!”

If it was a Guinness Book of World Records moment, what are you upset about?

Like Quigon Jinn said, “There’s always a bigger dick.”

Would you feel proud and happy if your SO had told you of an encounter with a man who had a dick so small he couldn’t do anything with it?

Don’t we all have that conversation with our partner at some stage? I would be as jealous about that as I would be about “what is the best meal you ever ate?” or “What was the best/worst day in your life”. If my partner had fucked some girl with a perfect pussy before he met me (and Mr Humongous doesn’t sound like he was perfect!!) then I would feel quite pleased that it took more then a perfect pussy to keep him happy.

Men are just silly when it comes to big dick stories :smiley:

Obligatory Chasing Amy quote.

It doesn’t sound to me like it’s so much the Biggus Dickus (although sure, that rankles), as the sexual - uh - wantoness - that’s bothering you. There’s not much to say but “get over it” if you want to continue in a marriage with this woman. It would be nice to tell her you’re bothered and don’t want details of her sexual exploits so she doesn’t tell you something like this (or even worse!) in the future, though.

For what it’s worth, I thought we all had a drunken or just not-thinking-clearly grope with some guy we’d never want an actual relationship with hiding in our closet. Practically defines college, doesn’t it?

That reminds me of another quote, from the same movie:

Or, as delicately phrased as only Jay can do:

Not after the age of 18.

The reason why: learning from experiences like Reuben is going through.

This has been steadily pissing me off the more I think about it.

Past exploits are conversations that everybody should handle with whatever level of discretion each couple sees fit. The problem I have is I can’t see this conversation even with full disclosure.

How does it not sound like this:

*Wow what can I say? This guy was really hung; his dick was so big I couldn’t even get most if it inside me. I tried to blow him but his giant dick was overflowing out of my mouth. We “managed” ;). Next time we are the grocery store I’ll find a proper cucumber so you can get a visual of just how big a dick this guy was pounding me with. I doubt I’ll be filled up with that much dick any time soon. :smack: *

All of my advice is destructive, divisive, passive aggressive, nasty, and otherwise unkind. I’ll just leave it at sorry ReubenH, that was a bitch ass bitch thing to do IMO to leave you to ponder for all the number of your days together. To give an answer I would not be jealous (I know there are bigger dicks in the sea) just pissed off wondering what kind of person I was with and what the motivation was to tell me the big dick story.

whips head around :eek: When did he say that?

I wasn’t going to answer, but still…In regards to the OP, I’d like to know how it came up. Were you asking her about her past sexual history? I think you should talk to her either way. Do you have a good communicative relationship?

YOU are providing what she wants now. You have all the qualities she has ever looked for in a guy and those outweigh what Mr. Hung-Like-A-Horse could ever give her.

If Mrs. D were to give me a similar story, I would feel like I was the winner because she chose me over everyone else.

I think that alot depends on how and why she shared this with you.

Was the tone something like, geesh-this was a bizarre thing that happened to me on my mad travels thru Europe a decade ago…or was it: well, I once knew a man who was so well endowed–etc, I’ve never seen anything like it since! Or even, you think you’re so hot in bed–you’re nothing like the guy at the youth hostel…

If it’s the first, I’m OK with it. I hope she sounds thankful that she doesn’t face that juggernaut daily. And I hope she showed you how content she is with you now. If it was anything remotely resembling the last two–she should be taken out and beaten with shovels. (kidding!). The last two DO cross lines and are passive aggressive and hurtful.

As to the “she wouldn’t have gone with me that noc; I’m a geeky guy and not her type at the time”–that, IMO, you need to get over. She is with you now, afterall. Tastes in guys change (do you want to be attached to your first forays into romance? I shudder at the thought!) and people change.

Think of it as her taste has evolved and become more discriminating.