treis didn’t just give that impression, he flatly said it, repeatedly.
What the holy fuck is your point?
Here’s a few highlights for you, since you evidently can’t be bothered to read anything.
According to treis, a man following a woman around her appartment for 15 or 20 minutes and making repeated attempts to coerce her into sex (after she has explicitly and clearly told him that was not happening, and he professed to understand) is perfectly OK and to be expected.
Well, Hentor, all I can say is that I do not (despite it being the message board format to do so) compartmentalize my feelings according to thread topic alone. Recent events in Steubenville and Canada, and my own RL experiences, the sexism/misogyny I see here when I bother to read over here (and I see it on the Giraffe Boards, too) weighed with me when I posted.
Unlike you, I didn’t bother to take a head count to check how many upstanding male chose to represent for their gender, but I did notice the patronizing attitudes of those who were/are “just trying to help”. If they truly want to help, perhaps they’d stop telling women how to conduct themselves while wringing their hands about the state of the world today and start actually exerting some pressure on their male peers.
Not at all-you didn’t read my post closely. I praised the few men who did stand up. I think you’re also counting those like Ambivalid and Steophan, who condescended to us and really weren’t helping in the slightest, but want to claim “good guy” status. I don’t count them. YMMV.
You really like to count things. I’m sure there are probably others, but LHOD’s posts stand out as being very supportive without the chauvinism. I’m not about to wade thru this monster thread to find every example of good guys or schmucks. I’m going to bold this next part, so it’s not missed:
**The lasting impression (for me) is that a few guys get it, most don’t and some are actively trying to prevent themselves from seeing women as people. This is news? **It’s depressing as hell, if you’re a woman. I’d like to think it’s depressing as hell if you’re a man as well, but I can’t speak to that, not being one.
Discretion is the better part and all that. Word to wise…
How superior of you, darling. And this remark of yours is not to be taken as an intellectual dismissal of a fundamental problem women face. Not at all.
redtail23, whatever you’re responding to, it isn’t anything I wrote, and it doesn’t seem to be much of what other people are writing.
eleanorigby, yeah, it’s really dumb to actually describe how few men are saying dumb things. It is much more helpful to magnify the problem and further snowball it up with other depressing things going on in the world.
I’m not gonna wade through this trainwreck to see if this point’s already been made, but I’d just like to say that if you want to be with the type of person who says no when they really mean yes, you probably deserve what you get from that relationship.
Yes, because deploring misogyny is magnifying “the problem” and “further snowball[ing] it up.” Why not just say you think I am catastrophizing? You like those therap-y labels… The irony is that my remark about the “vast sea of pure shit” referred not only to the misogynistic culture we find ourselves in, but also the internet and message boards in particular. Now, I’m not a man, so perhaps I don’t know, but it appears to me that the internet is fairly large, maybe even vast. And there’s lots of shit on it. But hey, feel free to correct me in my own opinion: it’s a female opinion and as such, doesn’t count for much.
Since you know nothing about dealing with the effects of misogyny on anything like a personal basis, I advise you to STFU about the issue. That trepidation you felt prior to posting? We girls call that gut instinct. Heed it. You, of course, may choose not to take this advice.
MOST IMPORTANTLY, I would like to point out that when I said you "Played the dumbass" that this doesn’t mean that I think you are a dumbass. From all of your other posts, I must say that it is quite obvious that you are not.
Just that you played same in this instance. We all do dumb stuff, even one as brilliant as I.
Yes, I am/was serious. You yourself acknowledged that you pulled a dumb stunt. (If I interpreted your “I know, I know” properly.) My post just attempted to give light that you were sending mixed signals, and bear/bore some of the blame for the crap turn of events.
Again, I NEVER meant to imply that you are even close to a bona fide dumbass, and I apologize, and hope that you didn’t even think for one instant that I meant to.
Scuse me, honey, but you’re kinda making a mountain out of a molehill. “Problem” is a pretty harsh word to describe something that has never personally impacted Hentor. I’m sure that if you just take a deep breath and try to be reasonable, you’ll understand how you’ve blown it out of proportion and owe an apology to Hentor and others for how curt you’ve been.
Well, that covers it all then, doesn’t it? I wasn’t sure that you were here to straighten everything out. It is so clear, now, with this pronouncement.
