Speeding tickets.
of felonies committed.
I meant to say if only I could find both ends at the same time.
Mine is 4 inches
from the ground.
A"cut in half and count the rings" joke really would’t be appropriate here, would it?
As a woman I don’t have a penis of my own to measure.
I have often wanted to weigh my boobs though. I’m just not sure of the best way to go about it.
By hand.
As for measuring my penis … let’s just say, “the water is deep too.”
If your boobs are of a sufficient cup size to allow you to rest them on a scale, then put a scale on a flat surface that is very close to the lower curve of your breast where it meets with your ribcage.
Lift your breast and place it on the scale. 
If you have to lower yourself or stretch to reach the scale, the tension in the muscles and skin supporting the breast will apply added pressure and in turn lead to an inaccurate weight measurement.
Cartooniverse
Light saber duels won.
:)I have to say this is the funniest set of posts–Good job!
A core sample would be much better sounding advice. 
Esaphagogastroduodenoscopy.
How about those hanging produce scales in supermarkets? You may have to weigh them separately.
I’m sporting 7 and a half inches of fury.
Nobody needs to know about your angry midget.
So how many mm?:eek:
dozens and dozens!
Me too. Tyrone Kinsey.
My dick’s the size of a three year old.
Aw. Poor baby.
No. My dick’s the size of a three year old. (holds hand at toddler height)
-Michael Blackson joke