Hacking the Modern Woman

[Kent_Clark]

@Arrogant_B_st_rd

We all took a stroll down town and the city park. We ended the night at Whole Foods. Well, technically the ER, I was hit by a shopping cart full of meat! I actually kind of got hurt.

Dear Penthouse,
I never thought I’d be writing this. . .

[CinnamonBabka]

@Small_Hen

So how do we hack a man to not cheat, stick around, help raise the children, and help with the housework?

You can find out in this month’s issue of Nintendo Power.

[msmith537]

@Small_Hen

You’ve just unlocked unlimited orgasm. Congratulations.

Wait…for me or her?

[Your_Great_Darsh_Face]

@Small_Hen

I actually have a serial number printed just inside my vagina.

Pics or it didn’t happen.

[Small_Hen]

@Your_Great_Darsh_Face

Pics or it didn’t happen.

My camera’s flash isn’t that effective.

[Smeghead]

The gimmick is wearing increasingly thin.

[Miller]

@Small_Hen

My camera’s flash isn’t that effective.

He’s asking for naked pics of you. Clearly, it’s not the camera’s flash he’s interested in.

[CinnamonBabka]

@Smeghead

The gimmick is wearing increasingly thin.

If I’m not mistaken you can tell us how you really feel in this thread.

EDIT: And then I remembered you’re posting there already.

[PoppaSan]

@Small_Hen

So how do we hack a man to not cheat, stick around, help raise the children, and help with the housework?

Think of the nicest, shyest single guy you know, the one you’d never consider dating yourself. He’s probably your best bet to solve your dilemma.

[coffeecat]

@Small_Hen

I actually have a serial number printed just inside my vagina. If you plug the number into a data base, you can find a key code which permits me to play all region DVDs.

I read this too fast. At first, I thought you could play DVDs with your vagina.

So how do we hack a man to not cheat, stick around, help raise the children, and help with the housework?

I also cook, write love sonnets, and go down, but I’m married.

Oh, what PoppaSan said.

[Missy2U]

Every day I am more and more surprised by the sheer idiocy I find. I suppose I should just expect it now - I must be incredibly thick headed to have believed I’d find something else. Jesus wept.

[TroutMan]

No vagina pulses for you, I take it.

[bump]

This is probably the most important stuff to know if you’re in a long-term relationship.

[Hector_St_Clare]

@Small_Hen

So how do we hack a man to not cheat, stick around, help raise the children, and help with the housework?

Date enough of them, and eventually one will fit the bill.

[madmonk28]

You left out the liberal use of Axe bodyspray.

[DrFidelius]

My older daughter won her fiancé through a poker game. My younger daughter met her current boyfriend at a con where they both cosplayed characters from the same web comic. Neither of these guys are assholes.

[VinylTurnip]

@Arrogant B*st*rd

This thread is a torch to guide young men in dating in the 21st century.

<fshhhht>

[Spud]

Be hung like a human, not hung like a horse.

Honey… can you bring me the cleaver please.

[ratatoskK]

I’ve been looking all over for a guy who likes being hit with frozen meat. I think I’m in love!:rolleyes:

[HoneyBadgerDC]

The thing I don’t like about this is the advice on how to get a woman attached to you. I try to avoid this until I decide wether or not I want to be attached. The older and more mature I get the more respect I have for other peoples feelings. The feeling of conquest that comes from giving a woman some good orgasms and causing her to fall in love with me is not something I strive for anymore.

If I am exploring a relationship I want things to be upbeat and pleaseant and something we both want more of, but I try to avoid mind blowing until I have some pretty serious feelings.