Haiku Madness Part Deux

Mediocrity:
Even Roman Hruska said
It deserves a chance.

It deserves a chance
To grow up the tall trellis,
Though determinant.

Though determinate
These tomatoes will produce
For a long season.

For a long season,
Move to Scandinavia:
Winter for six months!

Winter for six months?
I will have to hibernate
Tropics here I come!

Tropics here I come…
I’ll do them one at a time,
starting with cancer.

Starting with cancer,
we’ll check which disease this is.
(It’s never lupus.)

“It’s never lupus,”
so House always said; and yet,
wasn’t it just once?

Wasn’t it just once
Or twice that my dog bit you?
Come give him a kiss

Come give him a kiss.
Hall & Oates are telling you
That it’s on his list.

That it’s on his list
Don’t mean he has to buy it
Freakin’ Vegemite!

Freakin’ Vegemite;
dear Lord, how I hate it so!
Salty, grainy, yuck!

Salty, grainy, yuck -
Those are rejected Disney
Names for “Snow White” dwarves.

Names for “Snow White” dwarves
Also include Squeezy,
Gassy, Stinky, Bob

Gassy, Stinky, Bob-
Bing up and down on the waves:
Two months lost at sea.

Two months lost at sea
I bet my email inbox
Is out of control

Is out of control?
That shouldn’t be surprising.
You know he’s a cat.

You know he’s a cat –
But he now identifies
As a French poodle.

-“BB”-

'as a French poodle
Ever pulled a sled in the
Iditarod? Yes!

“Iditarod”? Yes!
That would be a great name for
Elon Musk’s next child.