Haiku Madness Part Deux

(applause)

Elon Musk’s next child
Is to be raised on the moon
If the rocket works.

If the rocket works
i’ll be on mars in no time -
but there’s no return.

But there’s no return
without a proper receipt;
there goes my ten bucks!

There goes my ten bucks,
Scampering down the meadow,
A doe by that tree.

A doe by that tree
Be doing flips. A doe be
Acrobat? Is so!

“Acrobat” is so
Not on guidance counselors’
College placement tests.

College placement tests
Steered me toward lighthouse keeper
Yeah, I could see that

Yeah, I could see that;
and will Dafoe, Pattinson
be my seaside chums?

Be my seaside chums
We’ll live in bamboo huts, make
Coconut cream pies

Coconut cream pies
are not as good as cherry,
but are still yummy

But are still yummy
Butter always delicious
Butt?..well, that depends

Butt? Well, that depends
Will keep it dry at nighttime.
At least they claim so.

At least they claim so,
but what they hell do they know?
Zilch, if you ask me.

Zilch, if you ask me
Your parents should have put more
Thought into your name.

Thought into your name?
I was looking for something
That goes with bratwurst

That goes with bratwurst
and that goes with lobster bisque;
just don’t mix them up!

Just don’t mix them up!
Ammonia and bleach, that is
Your lungs will kill you

Your lungs will kill you
If you choose to cheat on them
With other organs

With other organs
“96 Tears” sounds lame, not
Like my Wurlitzer