On like Donkey Kong,
off like Atari’s Bob Dole -
no one bought that game.
No one bought that game
You know, the Xbox version
Of Haiku Madness
Of Haiku Madness,
One can certainly say that
It’s gone on a while.
It’s gone on a while.
Swollen and throbbing, prick it
so the blood drains out
So the blood drains out
of his face, when he sees that
he’s been caught for sure.
He’s been caught for sure
That polo-wearing dude with
Aces up his sleeves
Aces up his sleeves
or fixing an election;
he will cheat always.
He will cheat always;
you know who I mean, don’t you?
Or maybe you don’t.
Or maybe you don’t
Wear Styrofoam underwear
It is quite squeaky
It is quite squeaky
But is also very cute:
Demanding kitten.
Demanding kitten
attacks your ankle with sharp
claws that feel like knives
Claws that feel like knives
Are normal. What is weird are
Claws that feel like sporks.
Claws that feel like sporks?
That’s my cat, he struggles with
Tines up or tines down
Tines up or tines down
We can’t decide; but we know
That we like cats here!
That we like cats here
Is uncontested. Just don’t
Speak of declawing.
Speak of declawing
And every cat in town goes
To the mattresses
To the mattresses!
Cried the host, to begin the
Wife-swapping party
Wife-swapping party
Must be husband-swapping too
Unless all are gay.
Unless all are gay
And nonagenarians
It’s not gay nineties
It’s not gay nineties
Unless you have trains and a
Tiffany lampshade.