Alien haiku
Bweep naut shata flingek Kwaap
What did you expect?
What did you expect
The Spanish Inquisition?
No one expects that
No one expects that
The next four years will be great
Except knuckleheads
Except knuckleheads
Everyone here is trying
To help each other.
To help each other,
we should all write good haiku -
or funny, at least!
Or funny, at least
Don’t start with a conjunction!
And that is the truth!
And that is the truth!
For certain values of ‘truth,’
anyway, I’d say
Anyway, I’d say
Yes to an ice cream cone if
It’s butter pecan
It’s butter pecan
That is the murder weapon.
He died from DEEZ NUTS.
“He died from DEEZ NUTS”
was a typo. He really
died because HE’S NUTZ.
“Died because HE’S NUTZ?”
Not a proper cause of death,
coroners agree
Coroners agree
With dentists about Trident.
It’s kind of creepy.
It’s kind of creepy,
the way those birds hang around:
sparrows by moonlight
Sparrows by moonlight
In silhouette. Shotgun fires
And bye-bye, sparrows!
-“BB”-
And bye-bye, sparrows!
This ain’t no Capistrano.
Bitter? Swallow it.
Bitter? Swallow it
(the pill, like the doctor said);
you’ll feel better then.
You’ll feel better. Then
we’ll go out, have a good time.
Now you’d best just rest.
“Now, you’d best just rest.”
Spoken to my spouse after
his lumbar puncture.
He is in bed trying to stop his headache after the procedure Friday, poor baby.
His lumbar puncture
was no fun at all, I’m sure;
hope he feels better!
never mind…