Haiku Madness Part Deux

Eighteen yarmulkes
That is a lot of kippot
For one man to own

For one man to own
even nineteen yarmulkes
would just be too much!

Would just be too much
Is what I told my husband
Ten pounds spaghetti!

£10 spaghetti
That’s a proper amount of
Pasta, innit mate

Pasta, innit, mate?
Why did you think it was a
Big pile of pale worms?

(Going off track for a moment, I found this haiku on the internet and wanted to share its brilliance:

The first time you read
This, it’s present tense. Now it’s
Past. Did you notice?

:face_with_spiral_eyes: )

Big pile of pale worms
Yummy yummy yummy, dude!
Damn, this haiku sucks

Damn, this haiku sucks
And the word “sucks” reminds me
I need to hoover

I need to, Hoover!
Exclaimed Clyde Tolson, as he
Ripped off Edgar’s dress.

Dang, that’s clever.

And I’m not touching Edgar’s dress.

I will.

Ripped off Edgar’s dress
Stole Melinda’s undershirt
From the laundry line.

Ripped off Edgar’s dress
Left him in his lingerie
F B ay yi yi

(dang, Edgar’s dress has already been ripped)

From the laundry line
I took down undies under
Neighbor’s prying eyes

Neighbor’s prying eyes
resented by my family;
must keep curtains shut

must keep curtains shut
They don’t want to see pressed ham
In my neighbor’s yard

In my neighbor’s yard
My doggy made a doo-doo
Shit, Ubu. Good dog.

Shit, Ubu. Good dog.
Then I pick it up. Now who
Is the master here?

Is the master here?
If not, may I leave a note
With lisping Igor?

With lisping, Igor
said, “Hith hump ith on the wrong
thide!” Eyegore rolled his eyes.

Eyegore rolled his eyes.
“Too many syllables? I
Counted them on one hand!”

Counted them on one hand!
“This Song is Just Six Words Long.”
If you can’t trust Al . . .