Haiku Madness Part Deux

Like it a bit, tart?
Oops, sorry, guess that sounded
A bit offensive

A bit offensive
The '27 Yankees
Babe and Iron Horse

Babe and Iron Horse
Were what she named her draft team.
Big strong Percherons.

Big strong Percherons
have plenty of horsepower
and look impressive

And look impressive,
Boy. Wear a proper dark suit.
Don’t wear a speedo!

Don’t wear a speedo!
Good advice for everyone.
Yes, that means you too.

Yes, that means you too
Can enjoy great profits from
My pyramid scheme

My pyramid scheme:
Look on my works, ye mighty
And always despair!

And always despair!
Because, as everyone knows,
We’re all gonna die

We’re all gonna die
So go for joy and kindness
While we’ve got the chance.

While we’ve got the chance
All in on double zero
So spin the wheel

So spin-a the wheel!
Chico gambled, but never
Counted syllables.

Counted syllables
Is the very foundation
Of Haiku Madness

Of Haiku Madness:
When one’s count is incorrect
Then thy mind is lost

Then thy mind is lost,
So seekest thou for it in
Lost and found boxes.

Lost and found boxes
Are awesome places to shop
If you’re short on cash

If you’re short on cash,
Stop by Bill’s House of Bills and
Grab double handfuls

Grab double handfuls
Is probably ok, but
Not on the first date

“Not on the first date,”
Trudi said as she slapped me,
“maybe the second.”

Maybe the second
you start acting like a man
You just might get some.