Haiku Madness Part Deux

All too drunk to read
The eye chart letters, guess my
Old glasses will do

Old glasses will do
To toast the marriage; which may
Still age very well.

Still, age very well,
or at least try to; may you
live long and prosper!

Live long and prosper
Said by, I think, Dr. Spock
To all the newborns

To all the newborns,
I give you this brief message:
Welcome to the world.

-“BB”-

Welcome to the world
Was the first thing I said to
The little green men

The little green men
In the flying saucer said,
“Where is Uranus?”

Where is Uranus?
Last I saw it 'twas between
Saturn and Neptune

Saturn and Neptune
My two favorite planets
after Mars and Earth

After Mars and Earth,
I wanna visit Vulcan;
when’s the next ship leave?

When’s the next ship leave
for the sun? I surely hope
we can land at night.

We can land at night,
Then we’ll be first in line at
The duty-free shops.

-“BB”-

The duty-free shops’
Rest rooms have urinals but
Alas, no toilets

Alas, no toilets
(at least, that I’ve ever used)
dispense cash to you

Dispense cash to you
And Finny too. I get the
Last eighty percent.

Last eighty percent
is the easiest, they say,
while eating garbage

While eating garbage
I sing Beatles’ songs. Piggies
Or Rocky Racoon

Or Rocky Raccoon
or Rocky Road, or watch the
boxing film Rocky

boxing film Rocky
No that other boxing film
Boxing Helena

Boxing Helena,
Apply proper postage, then
Ship her off to Butte.

-“BB”-