Haiku Madness Part Deux

Ship her off to Butte
Dress her up in a blue suit.
She’ll be my pursuit.

She’ll be my pursuit
I’m so glad she’s not hirsute
You object? That’s moot

You object? That’s moot
It’s like a cow’s opinion
It doesn’t matter

It doesn’t matter
Where we go on our first date
Just get me home late

Just get me home late,
My father warned my date, and
You’ll wish you hadn’t.

-“BB”-

You’ll wish you hadn’t
Eaten midnight chili fries
With jalapeños

With jalapeños
the trick is to chop them up
and throw them away.

And throw them away
From you car window and bounce
Into other cars.

Into other cars
I often peek while driving.
Some folks are naughty!

Some folks are naughty
And so are some types of wood
You know, naughty pine

You know, naughty pine
Takes over the forest and
Crowds out other trees.

Crowds out other trees.
Outing trees is offensive
Mainly to maples.

Mainly to maples
Is where I run my tree scams
Because they’re all saps

Because they’re all saps,
Anything I choose will work
To knock you out cold

To knock you out cold:
What the anesthesia
Was supposed to do.

Was supposed to do
All sorts of household chores, but
The internet called

The internet called.
I told it you would call back
when you get back home.

When you get back home,
say hi to your pet for me;
I love cats and dogs!

I love cats and dogs!
They are plentiful, and a
Cheap source of protein.

-“BB”-

Cheap source of protein?
I’m gonna go with earthworms
You’ll have baited breath