Are haiku writers
The sexiest of Dopers?
All signs point to yes
All signs point to yes.
But then all roads lead to Rome.
It’s so confusing.
It’s so confusing
and yet quite stimulating
par for the course here
Par for the course. Here,
Polish your club and balls, you’ll
Get a hole in one
Get a hole in one?
Just one? You can do better -
as Kim did, of course. 
As Kim did, of course.
But I haven’t met her. Would
You introduce us
You introduce us
Then you turn and walk away
That’s a good wing man
That’s a good wing, man.
I especially like them
When they’re made like this.
When they’re made like this
It’s no good trying to claim
They must be like that.
They must be like that
or, I suppose, just like this
or some third option
Or some third option
Was not what they had in mind
When Johnny came home
When Johnny came home
After his Tonight Show gig
His wife hid the booze
His wife hid the booze
Where he would never find it:
Inside her stomach
Inside her stomach
Is where I will always be
Wait, I mean her heart
Wait, I mean her heart
Belongs to herself; not to
That sad old story.
That sad old story
Told to children at bedtimes
To get them to sleep
To get them to sleep
I must first know who “them” is;
Do you mean those guys?
Do you mean those guys?
Those who lie and cheat and steal?
Ah yes, the children!
Ah yes - the children!
That’s the thing we left behind
At that topless bar!
At that topless bar
I saw a dude with a hat
Told him “You go home!”