Haiku Madness Part Deux

By that guy called Ye
Olde Drunkard stands the Town Scold.
Opposites attract

Opposites attract
Is true of magnets. How do
they work, anyway?

They work, anyway?
Don’t waste time wondering why,
Stick them on your 'fridge.

Stick ‘em on your fridge
And ignore those diet tips
Daily from now on

Daily from now on
I’ll exercise and eat right
At least 'til I don’t

At least 'til I don’t
Remember how haikus work,
I’ll keep posting here

I’ll keep posting here,
loving haiku as I do…
but then, don’t we all?

But then, don’t we all
Consider looking for the
Gold in them thar hills?

Gold in them thar hills
Is on the beech trees, mostly;
Maple trees glow red.

Maple trees glow red
From fires of dry west coast hell
Critters digging deep

Critters digging deep
My yard looks like a minefield
That’s aereation

“That’s aereation,”
the professor declared, but
I still had my doubts.

I still had my doubts,
but i drank the whole bottle.
I wish i hadn’t.

I wish I hadn’t
gone online at all today.
It’s so nice outside!

It’s so nice outside;
why must I be here, inside?
The haikus call me.

The Haikus call me
But I don’t answer my phone
Annoying neighbors

Annoying neighbors
Yelling and screaming all night
Can’t hear my music

Can’t hear my music?
Hold on a sec, I’ll turn it
Up to eleven

Up to eleven
the proper volume for rock
everyone knows that

Everyone knows that
The planet’s true geniuses
Are haiku writers