Haiku Madness Part Deux

Just waiting for G.
Gordon Liddy to put his
Hand over that flame

Hand over that flame
and no one gets burnt, I swear;
get extinguisher

Get extinguisher
Here comes my birthday cake, I
Ain’t no spring chicken

Ain’t no spring chicken,
I’m a happy old rooster
And will keep my head

And will keep my head
Above water for a while;
Might enjoy swimming.

Might enjoy swimming,
Or maybe scuba diving.
Not trying surfing.

Not trying surfing
not crazy ‘bout giant waves
I’ll be in kids’ pool

I’ll be in kids’ pool
Practicing my dad glares to
Serial splashers

Serial splashers:
Don’t stand next to them while they
Use a urinal

Use a urinal
(or a bidet or toilet)
when you feel you must

When you feel you must
Flatulate in my presence
Please give a heads up

Please give a heads up
no coin at a coin challenge
Will get me a beer

Will ! get me a beer
and a packet of peanuts.
I’ll pay you later.

I’ll pay you later
As soon as I hear from the
Nigerian prince.

Nigerian prince
There’s my Halloween costume
Needed idea

Needed idea;
Nigerian prince? Clever!
Pass me my crown, lout.

Pass me my crown, lout.
– Hey! I didn’t mean by that
To hand me my head!

To hand me my head
Will work only if you first
Give me my arms back

Give me my arms back!
I shouldn’t have thrown my hands
Up at Beyonce.

Up at Beyonce,
over by Jay-Z, and down
by that guy called Ye