Haiku Madness Part Deux

No value to me
But perhaps to someone else?
We may never know

We may never know
or we could quickly find out …
Put it on E-bay

Put it on ebay?
Surely no one will bite. And
Don’t call me Shirley

Don’t call me Shirley
Even if you can’t pronounce
My actual name.

My actual name:
John Jacob Jingle-Heimer-
Schmidt, not Abcde*

*pronounced “Ab-sid-ee”

“Schmidt Not Abcde”
Ain’t the weirdest name I’ve seen
But it’s pretty close.

But it’s pretty close
I knew a Silver Anne Gold
I kid you not, friends

I kid you not, friends
Mine: Amanda Rose Early
I also kid not

I also kid not
Just you, but everybody
Reading this haiku

Reading this haiku
thread fills me with happiness
a simple pleasure

A simple pleasure
Is what the brochure promised
Turns out it’s a scam

Turns out it’s a scam.
I new as soon as i heard
“I’m from Microsoft”

“I’m from Microsoft.”
Whoever in their right mind
Would admit to that?

-“BB”-

Would admit to that…
well, if I worked there, maybe?
But I don’t, thank God.

But I don’t thank God
For these hemorrhoids. They’re just
A pain in the butt.

A pain in the butt.
That’s a perfect description
Of the G.O.P.

-“BB”-

Of the GOP,
[Expletive Deleted] is
The best I can say.

The best I can say -
forget all the politics.
It’s Thanksgiving Day!

It’s Thanksgiving Day!
But hey, no turkey for me
Pass the lasagna

Pass the lasagna
On to somebody else, please;
And I’ll be thankful!