Haiku Madness

Debuting this fall
Liposuction Ass Clinic
De-butting this fall

De-butting this fall:
“Baby Don’t Got Back No More”
newest dumb rap song

Newest dumb rap song
“New Slim Shady’s Muskrat Love”
Captain & Tenille

Captain & Tenille:
Do that to me one more time,
Once is never 'nuff.

Once is never 'nuff
Do it twice or even thrice
Don’t make me decide

Don’t make me decide
Between the leopard print thong
And the Batman briefs

And the Batman briefs
for sale in vending machines
Japan has it all.

Japan has it all.
Especially if you like
Tentacle raping.

Tentacle raping –
Don’t search for pictures of it
If you’re on the job

If you’re on the job,
then how in Sam Hill can you
be writing haiku?

Be writing haiku
Very hard for Yoda is
Only three fingers

Only three fingers
Then five, and then three more for
I am Haiku Man!

I am Haiku Man!
and not Spartacus, you see
Romans could be harsh.

Romans could be harsh
but they sure could build a road
In between conquests

In between conquests
dig up some tentacle porn
usually sucks though

Usually sucks though
it has failed on occasion.
This Hoover right here.

This Hoover right here
Too heavy to lug upstairs
Dirty floor remains

dirty floor remains
but all the empty beer cans
stashed under the couch

Stashed under the couch
my prize collection of dust
wow, isn’t it great?

wow, isn’t it great?
the shoe repair shop just called.
my shoes are ready!