Haiku Madness

Beer drinkin’ Yahoos!
I used to be one of them
Then I got laid off

Then I got laid. “Off!”
She cried, “You’re crushing my smokes!”
Ah. That’s amore.

Ah. That’s amore.
Dino Paul Crocetti sang that.
You know – Dean Martin.

You know – Dean Martin.
Brother of Don Martin, no?
Mad’s Maddest Artist

Mad’s Maddest Artist
Couldn’t begin to convey
My utter dismay

My utter dismay:
My dairy cows all ran dry
So…No milk for you!

So…No milk for you
Not milkman is Milk Nazi.
I’ll drink what I choose.

I’ll drink what I choose
unless I choose a beer that was
used as an ashtray

used as an ashtray
Britney’s baby’s soft spot was
on Family Guy show

On Family Guy show,
Peter Griffin is stupid
Like most sitcom dads

Like most sitcom dads
Ward Cleaver’s occupation
Is a mystery

Is a mystery
how anyone could find Ke$ha
a gifted singer

A gifted singer
An imitater is a
Regifted singer

Regifted Singer
Sewing machine quietly
Awaits my leisure

Awaits, my leisure
suit at the cleaner’s again
Larry is my name

Larry is my name
I am Buddy Sorrel’s dog
Big German Shepherd

Big German Shepherd
does a lamb count. How many
do you have, Schultz? “Nien!”

do you have Schultz? “Nien!”
haben Schmidt, Schröder & Krause.
Wo ist Bröckenschteig?

Wo ist Bröckenschteig?
Search Google–you’ll find it’s right
here and nowhere else.

Here and nowhere else
lives here and nowhere else man
Waiting for no one