We sing Europe songs
and drink Antarctica beer
continentally
Continentally
Describes the manner in which
Tom Swift drives Lincolns
Tom Swift drives Lincolns
Official White House Chauffer
Tonight, Ford’s Theatre
The first line has six syllables when I say it, but OK…
Tonight, Ford’s Theatre
“Our American Cousin”
Booth, evil, struck then
Booth, evil, struck then
Phone line wrapped tight around neck
Do not call collect.
Do not call collect
Mr. T pities the fool
Who won’t call and save
Who won’t call and save?
Man, my grammy is pissed off…
I called on Monday!*
*For you youngun’s, it was a fact that you made personal long-distance calls on Sunday nights after 7pm because that was when long-distance rates were at their cheapest. My grandmother would FREAK if you called her on a non-Sunday night because you were wasting money. And she pitied the fool who called at 6:59pm… “You couldn’t wait five minutes to be sure???”
I called on Monday
To see if Wednesday would go
Out for a Sundae
Out for a sundae?
Come out of the closet, you!
And get your ice cream!
“And get your ice cream!
After your tonsils are out!”
A promise unkept.
A promise unkept
Where’s my contracted bonus?
Man, I hate my job…
Man, I hate my job
Mopping out the stripper booths
I keep the tips, though
“I keep the tips, though,”
said the plump Wall Street broker
as he churned more stock.
As he churned more stock
through the gates of the corral
I only saw steak
I only saw steak
But the butcher’s expert knife
fillets divinely.
fillets divinely.
And “Fillets Divine Lee” is
A good porn star name.
A good porn star name
Dick Deeper or Cherry Treats
Not Wienie McFlacid
Not Wienie McFlacid
Don’t use in haiku’s first line
Six Syllables! WRONG!!!
Six Syllables! Wrong!
Are you the Haiku Nazi?
No haiku for you!
No haiku for you!
Seinfeld, poetry don’t mix,
or so Kramer said.