Haiku Madness

sometimes we forget order
seven-five-seven
pretty sure I fucked it up

Pretty sure I fucked it up
A backwards haiku
How can we correct it now?

“How can we correct?”
the SAT taker asked;
“You can’t,” teacher said.

“You can’t,” teacher said.
“But teach, yesterday you said
There was no such word!”

There was no such word
I checked dictionary, did
not find gullible

not find gullible
Le Fantôme de l’Opéra
What an albatross.

What an albatross!
Three under on par four ninth.
My first hole-in-one!

“My first hole-in-one!”
a young Tiger said, smiling;
glory lay ahead.

glory lay ahead
inside that public restroom…
George Michael awaits!

George Michael awaits
At the banana stand for
His cousin Maeby

His cousin Maeby
decided to sleep, thereby
avoiding arrest

avoiding arrest
as my doctor can attest
my heart does it best

My heart does it best
When I think about May West
As you could attest

As you could attest
There’s a poet Edgar Guest
And toothpaste called Crest

And toothpaste called Crest
I brush before ev’ry test
It’s really the best.

It’s really the best
Rhyming haiku is the test
I love women’s breasts

I love women’s breasts
Encased in bikinis, tank tops,
Or – better yet – nude

Or - better yet - nude
I find I must stare, 'though it’s rude
and my pants protrude

And my pants protrude
From the tentacles in there
Need Nippon schoolgirl

Need Nippon schoolgirl
For afternoon of playtime
If she has the yen