Haiku Madness

From Floral Review:
Red roses are hot this year
So violets are blue

So violets are blue
And blueberries are violet.
That does not make sense.

That does not make sense
Drive in driveway, park in park
So I drive through parks

So I drive through parks
love to hear picnickers scream
watch out for stroller!

Watch out for stroller!
Baby on board armed to teeth
Or, at least, to gums

Or, at least, to gums
Like Beeman’s, Blackjack & Clove
Vintage chews, they are

Vintage chews, they are
Old Skoal and Copenhagen
sipped from the wrong can

sipped from the wrong can!
excuse me while I go and
pick butts from my teeth.

Pick butts from my teeth
Shouldn’t ask all those fat guys
To sit on my face

To sit on my face,
A woman must ask nicely
Unless she is hot

Unless she is hot
A woman will rarely use
Icicle tampons

Unless she is hot.
It’s fine to sit on my chin.
On my nose, it’snot.

On my nose, it’s not
warm. It’s cold because of the
icicle tampons

Icicle tampons
Seem like a bad idea
They stab, then they melt

They stab, then they melt.
Coal eyes glow with hate. Beware
the killer snowmen.

The killer snowmen
Vacationing in Tampa
What a lucky break

What a lucky break!
Icicle tampons on sale!
How to get them home???

How to get them home???
Why should I care if tampons
beg on the mean streets?

Beg on the mean streets!
Do whatever you have to
to score primo weed.

To score primo weed
One must make friends with hippies
which is not that fun.