Haiku Madness

Don’t you dare judge him,
Mr. District Attorney
wait, no, go ahead.

Wait, no, go ahead.
This taxi smells like cat piss.
I’ll take the next one.

I’ll take the next one
given a choice between, say,
slow death or taxes.

SLOW DEATH OR TAXES –
That’s more ambiguous than
SLOW CHILDREN AT PLAY

SLOW CHILDREN AT PLAY
I wonder if that implies
FAST CHILDREN AT WORK

Fast children at work
child labor laws broken
let them play at home

let them play at home.
Let me correct your typo.
Let them PRAY at home.

Let them pray at home
you keep your god at your house
and I’ll just stay out

And I’ll just stay out
Of that pool of ranch dressing
Cool dip in Cool Whip

Cool dip in Cool Whip?
Sounds like some kinky foreplay.
Is there video?

Is there video?
Let’s check MTV and see
none to be found here.

“None to be found here”
Read the poorly misspelled sign
On the convent door

On the convent door
oh you naughty little nun
how about the floor?

How about the floor?
If the bathroom door is locked
just take a dump there!

Just take a dump there
While sitting on the windshield
Pressed ham with gravy

Pressed ham with gravy
boy I love the food in jail
but not my bunkmate.

But not my bunkmate
In fact we both share one bed
There are benefits

There are benefits
to looking like James Earl Jones
free food at Denny’s

Free food at Denny’s
every fatty’s fondest dream
nom nom nom nom nom

Nom nom nom nom nom
is a hard line to start with
this one is better