Haiku Madness

resistant to change
the baby’s fouled diaper was
but damn, did it stink!

But damn! Did it stink!
Nasty gas station toilet
next rest stop five miles

Next rest stop five miles?
not sure I can wait that long
might have to find shrub

Might have to find shrub
To fend off those crazy knights.
It’s the only way.

But damn! Did it stink!
Nasty gas station toilet
next stop five miles

oops. missed editing deadline. Damn cell phone…

Its the only way
to terrorize old ladies
by yelling “Ni! Ni!”

It’s the only way
to push ahead, recklessly
ignore all others

Ignore all others
protect the fair Gilraen
this oath I have sworn.

This oath I have sworn
To quit procrastinating
Damn you, Haiku thread!

Damn you, Haiku thread!
Upset the haiku police?
Have mercy on us.

have mercy on us
we hollered when the score reached
fifteen to zero

Fifteen to zero
who is getting their butt kicked?
Its prob’bly my team.

Its prob’bly my team.
The Int’national Group of
Apos’phe Users

Apos’phe Users
Ain’t, Can’t, Wouldn’t, and Shouldn’t
Did I use 'nuff s’blls?

Did I use 'nuff s’blls?
Wrote the dyslexic poster
in the grammar thread

In the grammar thread
there will, for sure, be errors
its human natuer

its human natuer
to make many more mistakes
Typing with one hand

Typing with one hand
Easier than typing With
A wand up your nose

A wand up your nose
Occupational hazards
Threaten wizards, too

Threaten wizards, too.
Also ogres, giants and…
Reading too much Xanth.