Haiku Madness

They sag, droop, get soft
It happens to every man.
Time for Viagra.

Time for Viagra.
Offers fill my Yahoo! box.
Name always m!s$pel/ed.

Name always m!s$pel/ed
How important is spelling?
Grammar counts, also

Grammar counts, also
Don’t forget syntax either.
find the use for words.

Find the use for words
Don’t look like an idiot
Saying the wrong stuff

Saying the wrong stuff
May make you look quite foolish.
Silence might be best.

Silence might be best
No-one knows you’re a fool, 'til
You open your mouth

You open your mouth
and spew such utter nonsense
credentialed moron

*We will also accept “credentialed twit” as your accent requires.

Credentialed moron:
Pointy-haired boss in Dilbert.
Spewer of jargon.

Spewer of jargon
Acolyte of synergy
Belcher of pizzazz

Belcher of pizzazz
Moron of intelligence
Completely lost soul

Completely lost soul.
I’m alone in my room on
My Christmas Birthday.

My Christmas Birthday:
Mistletoe, and birthday cake,
Egg nog, and ice cream

Egg nog and ice cream
Is a recipe for an
Eye-throbbing brain freeze

Eye-throbbing brain freeze
You hav’n’t lived, 'til you’ve had one
Cold Slurpee, Big Gulp!

Cold Slurpee, Big Gulp
that isn’t a way to spend
A Celebration

A celebration
Something worth celebrating
By celebrators

By celebrators
Like partiers partying
Yes, dancers dancing

Yes, dancers dancing
And maids maiding, swans swanning…
Are those lyrics right?

Are those lyrics right?
Are there twelve lords a leaping?
I’ll sip more egg nog