Haiku Madness

For the good old days
When I was KING of the yard
Back at Attica

Back at Attica
there were lines that you can’t cross –
prison etiquette

nm – double post

Prison etiquette?
Hell: keep your backs to the wall!
Don’t pick up dropped soap!

Don’t pick up dropped soap?
I’ll bend over if I want…
I like it that way!

I like it that way!
Ketchup on my hot dogs, and
Beans in my chili.

Beans in my chili
Terlingua Texas cook-off
Where it all began

Where it all began:
in the middle of the earth
in a land called Shire.

In a land called Shire
Where Talia did come from
Oh wait, that’s New York

Oh wait, that’s New York
Where the Yankees play baseball
And the Giants left

And the Giant’s left
nut dragged on the ground, behind
His enormous schlong.

His enormous schlong
ain’t half as big as my dong.
If 'twere, twould be wrong.

If 'twere, 'twould be wrong:
twisted in twain the twins
entwined at twilight.

His enormous schlong
With it he could do no wrong
Bang her like a gong

Woops. Man, I liked that one, too.

Entwined at twilight
Sparkly vampire, dull werewolf
Fight for boring chick

Fight for boring chick:
Will she stay home tonight and
burp her tupperware?

Burp her tupperware?
What exactly does that mean?
This don’t end the thread.

This don’t end the thread.
Atropos will end the thread
with sharp silver shears.

With sharp silver shears,
She seeks the shivering sheep,
Sighing a shrill shriek.

Sighing a shrill shriek
She shrugged sheepishly, shyly
She shed, holy shit

Nice.

She shed, holy shit
Admin said go to the pit
She left in a snit