Yes, I am a roof.
And I really do not care.
I’m an aloof roof.
I’m an aloof roof,
Or an unfeeling ceiling;
You can take your pick.
You can take your pick
Eenie, meenie, minee, moe
Flip a coin; let’s go
Flip a coin; let’s go
Olive Garden? Mickey D’s?
We are spoiled for choice.
We are spoiled for choice
We have so many options
Just not a Denny’s
Just not a Denny’s
My brother Mike cooked at one
The stories he tells…
The stories he tells
Entail unnatural acts
And rhyme with bucket
And rhyme with bucket
In the best limerick style:
Haha, Nantuckett!
Haha, Nantuckett!
Though it is tourist season,
You can’t just shoot 'em.
You can’t just shoot 'em.
They’re protected by treaty.
Migratory birds.
Migratory birds
leave me white gooey presents
that I do not want
That I do not want
to watch this Duck Dynasty
does not mean I’m dull.
Does not mean I’m dull
because I cannot cut it
just lazy and dumb
just lazy and dumb
I am a superhero
They call me “Slothman”
They call me “Slothman”,
I…can’t…understand…why…they…do…
when my name is Phil.
When my name is Phil
And last my last name McCrackin
They hear it and laugh
They hear it and laugh,
women do, when I give the
size of my penis.
Size of my penis,
Sighs of the grateful women,
Whiche’er is greater.
Whiche’er is greater?
Erie or Ontario?
Superior is.
Superior is
Better than inferior
Better than bad’s good