Said Doctor Heimlich,
“Put ze hands around ze vayst
and pull inward, fast!”
“…and pull inward, fast!”
said Dr. Johnson to her good
colleague Doc Masters.
Colleague Doc Masters.
Colleague Doc Masters, you are
due in surgery
Due in surgery
To transplant a heart, two lungs
and some guy’s brain. Whee!
And some guy’s brain. Whee!
In some hot lady’s bod. Ha!
Talk about self-love. Whoa!
Talk about self-love. Whoa!
We would hate to see you. Whoa!
Beat a dead horse. Nay!
“Beat a dead horse. Nay!”
But Nay declined, as she said,
“You go beat him off.”
“You go beat him off,”
she told me, “and I’ll take care
of the other flies.”
Of the other flies
I was neutral. But Neumann’s
Is dear to my heart
Is dear to my heart,
she is, but she won’t kiss me.
I ate three onions.
I ate three onions
They crunched like juicy apples
I chased them with beer
I chased them with beer
I chased them with tequila
Oh how my head hurts
Oh how my head hurts
When I bang it on the wall
So I can’t hear you
So I can’t hear you
I cannot see you, either
I’ll speak no evil
I’ll speak no evil
I am wise Iwazaru
I live in Japan
I live in Japan
Sushi and sake for me
Budweiser still sucks
Budweiser still sucks,
and so does old Dracula,
just like a sump pump.
Just like a sump pump
My employees work only
Intermittently
Intermittently
I get stoned. If I could I’d
be high all the time.
Be high all the time
Otherwise, I couldn’t work
Yes, I am a roof