What shall we haiku?
Maybe a few lines about
Rutherford B. Hayes?
Rutherford B. Hayes!
He saw Reconstruction’s end:
middle name is Birchard!
Middle name is Birchard,
Wife’s name is Lucy Webb Hayes;
teetotalers, both.
teetotalers, both.
And since they play golf, they are
Tee teetotalers.
Tee teetotalers
are those who refuse to golf,
not those who love it!
Not those who love? It
seems such a waste of lifetime
to go lorn alone.
To go lorn alone
Would be quite lonely, indeed
Best find a squeeze box
Best find a squeeze box
If mamma plays with her box
Dad can’t sleep at night
Dad can’t sleep at night
and so he prowls the dark streets
dress’d as a black bat.
dress’d as a black bat.
With two balls hanging on it.
Great porn film costume.
Great porn film costume:
Zucchini-stuffed swim suit and
Tom Selleck moustache.
Tom Selleck moustache
I recall Magnum, P.I.
Was Higgins Masters?
Was Higgins Masters?
He admitted he was, then
Said he was lying.
Said he was lying
But if the glove doesn’t fit
Then you must acquit
Then you must acquit
Said a high-paid bamboozler
Murderer set free
Murderer set free
OJ did it, we all know
R.I.P., Nicole
R.I.P, Nicole
You shouldn’t go skydiving
With a sleeping bag
With a sleeping bag
It’s hard to get good lovin’
Unless mateable
Unless mateable.
Though I consider myself
Useless mateable.
Useless mateable?
Is that a factor of age?
Viagra may help