Haiku Madness

Viagra may help
Unless you take it and choke
'Cuz you’re a dickhead

'Cuz you’re a dickhead
I declare you must wear this
Rubber fedora

Rubber fedora
For a rubber-headed man
Such a sight to see

Such a sight to see
A self-proclaimed vegan in
A leopard-skin pillbox hat

A leopard-skin pillbox hat
Can I jump on it sometimes?
Please close the garage door

Question: didn’t we agree to do 5-7-5 syllables?
In play:

Please close the garage
You’ve left for work already
Unless you don’t care

Unless you don’t care
I’ll tell you about my elf
It’s a short story

It’s a short story:
“Garage has two syllables”
mmm was wrong

“Mmm” was wrong
thing to say when she asked me
If her ass looked big.

Yes – I don’t know how I counted only five in “A leopard-skin pillbox hat”.

In play:

If her ass looked big,
Sir Mix-a-Lot was happy.
His hit topped the charts.

His hit topped the charts.
Shame he was completely deaf -
He was just guessing…

He was just guessing
Carnival guess-your-weight dude
Has quite the black eye

Has quite the black eye
does our little Davy now
after Joe socked him.

After Joe socked him
Hoss and Adam tied him up
Rocky’s punching bag

Rocky’s punching bag
Now Rocky: The Musical
Stallone needs money.

Stallone needs money?
Hah! This poor coyote needs
money more than he

Money, more than he,
less than she, is same as they,
it is what they want.

It is what they want.
The Peyote Coyote,
me, glorious me.

Me, glorious me.
I won the school spelling bee
Back in the fifth grade.

Back in the fifth grade
Sternvogel bedazzled them–
He spelled “xanthosis”.